Now I would not normally boast or brag about where I grew up but my brother posted this as a bulletin on myspace today and I feel that I have to add my two cents so you will understand and get to know me better. Here goes - my comments are in purple.
1. You spent every Friday and Saturday night of your youth at the skating rink, and that's normal. Hell yeah this was normal. What was even more normal was fighting with your parents about going two nights in a row and giving you money for it and who the next boy you were going to "slow skate" with. I was a damn good roller skater by the way with my white skates with hot pink wheels.
2. Your parents call Weis "We is" - Yeah but they still shop at Giant or Safeway
3. You actually know what a Little Tavern and a Tastee Freez are - Hmm -Tastee Freeze - only the best chocolate shakes in the world and also the largest rats running from the dumpster.
4. You remember going to Laurel Mall when they still had stores, and ROY ROGERS! I also remember when it had a Gap, Merry Go Round (IOU BABY) County Seat and Express (shhh...don't tell anyone I used to manage that Express)
5. You consider Columbia to be "Snobby, Rich or Bouje" and successively to be "Country". Now I consider Columbia to be a little ghetto. (Worked in that Express also - shhh...)
6. You drive past the HUGE Christmas Tree on Montgomery Street every year. I also recall when some un-named friends were arsonists and tried to burn that sucker down.
7. The Bus, is only referred to as Connect-A-Ride...otherwise you mean Metro, and those 2 aren't good to mix up My only source of transportation after I got in trouble several times and lost privledges to my brand new car.
8. A goose or a duck has violently tried to attack you at one point or another at Laurel Lakes. I made out at Laurel Lakes - never went there when it was light. So I cannot recall this.
9. Half of your friends claim D.C. and the other half claim Baltimore. Claim DC - so much better than B'More HON!
10. You knew growing up what a 'Whiskey Bottom' girl meant. No, not a girl that could shoot WHISKEY our of her ass - this is just where she grew up. Her hood was call Whiskey Bottom
11. People don't throw out 'Crips' and 'Bloods', they throw out 'El Palo'. Hmm...maybe I am too old for this one - or got out before the gangs started???
12. You have debated whether or not DC GoGo or Baltimore Club is better. Safer for the white kids to hit up a club in B'More....Always went to HOME THROWN GO GO's in HS. Or to School where they would frequently play. No Chuck Brown though damnit!
14. You know how or have seen someone 'beat their feet' and do the 'perculator'. "Its time for the percolator....."
15. You felt the sadness of seeing the Laurel Movie Theatre go, but more so the pizza shop next door. Hmmmm.... VILLA PIZZA, Yum. I also recall the WAXIE MAXIE's across the way - bought my tapes there and cassette singles - HA
16. Only half of your friends have actually ever been to the Laurel Race Track. I still have yet to go there. The smell of horse shit does not sit well with me.
17. Half of your friends have a homemade tattoo of some sort. Of course they do - what else did we do when we skipped school - played with needles and indian ink.
18. There is evidence that you once had 'the bangs' that took hours and a full bottle of hairspray to do. I plead the fifth - although if you are curious - I have freshman through senior year pictures with plenty of aquanet and was always told that I had Laurel Hair. Now that was back in the early 90's - I am clear of "LAURELism's" now.
19. You know how important the Main Street Festival is. Its only the biggest white trash festival in May. Gather all your Bud drinking, Marlboro smoking pals and join in.
20. You remember playing in the plastic pools and the .25 cent rides in front of K-mart. The cheesy merry-go- round and blue pools with dinosaurs in them and built in slides.
21. You've been guilty of wearing krimNL10dency, Da*Link Went, Bonidacci Bionzo, Damani Dada, & RP55 t-shirts - I have no clue what you are talking about.
22. More than half of your friends smoke, and 90 percent of them started at the Skating Rink. so it is not my mom's fault - damnit.
23. You have given money to the people at the intersection of Cherry Lane and Route 1 at least 3 times. No way - I went to school with those people.
24. You or one of your friends have bought weed from the ice cream man. OMG - all the time at Town Center Pool when I was lifeguarding there. He had the "BEST" stash.
25. You secretly wish you could pull of Reebok Classics again. Um, no.
26. You were offended by number 25 because you still do. HA - no I don't think so.
27. You have been in at least one fist fight. With men
28. You know what it means when you lunch, what it is when you gank something, what it is to kirk on someone. http://www.urbandictionary.com/ or http://www.laurel.com/ for defs.
29. Most of your white friends moms still wear acrylic nails and go to the tanning salon. I wish I could get my mom to tan. She looks like Casper.
30. The only reason you read the Laurel Leader is to see who from High School got locked up over the weekend and for what. Did it earlier today - I am guilty
31. Everytime you get pulled over, it's never one cop by themselves, it's always at least 2, if not 3 cars - because Laurel is the hood and they all just came from Dunkin Doughnuts or Ihop.
32. You couldn't believe when Laurel High School won there first game in FOREVER! HA - um they/we won games??? LOL
33. You know that Contee Road is a bad neighborhood, and that all the white kids from Montpelier rep it. I am "the kid" from Montpelier - HA HA HA
34. You have laughed, understood or been offended by any of these. - I got out while I could.
1. You spent every Friday and Saturday night of your youth at the skating rink, and that's normal. Hell yeah this was normal. What was even more normal was fighting with your parents about going two nights in a row and giving you money for it and who the next boy you were going to "slow skate" with. I was a damn good roller skater by the way with my white skates with hot pink wheels.
2. Your parents call Weis "We is" - Yeah but they still shop at Giant or Safeway
3. You actually know what a Little Tavern and a Tastee Freez are - Hmm -Tastee Freeze - only the best chocolate shakes in the world and also the largest rats running from the dumpster.
4. You remember going to Laurel Mall when they still had stores, and ROY ROGERS! I also remember when it had a Gap, Merry Go Round (IOU BABY) County Seat and Express (shhh...don't tell anyone I used to manage that Express)
5. You consider Columbia to be "Snobby, Rich or Bouje" and successively to be "Country". Now I consider Columbia to be a little ghetto. (Worked in that Express also - shhh...)
6. You drive past the HUGE Christmas Tree on Montgomery Street every year. I also recall when some un-named friends were arsonists and tried to burn that sucker down.
7. The Bus, is only referred to as Connect-A-Ride...otherwise you mean Metro, and those 2 aren't good to mix up My only source of transportation after I got in trouble several times and lost privledges to my brand new car.
8. A goose or a duck has violently tried to attack you at one point or another at Laurel Lakes. I made out at Laurel Lakes - never went there when it was light. So I cannot recall this.
9. Half of your friends claim D.C. and the other half claim Baltimore. Claim DC - so much better than B'More HON!
10. You knew growing up what a 'Whiskey Bottom' girl meant. No, not a girl that could shoot WHISKEY our of her ass - this is just where she grew up. Her hood was call Whiskey Bottom
11. People don't throw out 'Crips' and 'Bloods', they throw out 'El Palo'. Hmm...maybe I am too old for this one - or got out before the gangs started???
12. You have debated whether or not DC GoGo or Baltimore Club is better. Safer for the white kids to hit up a club in B'More....Always went to HOME THROWN GO GO's in HS. Or to School where they would frequently play. No Chuck Brown though damnit!
14. You know how or have seen someone 'beat their feet' and do the 'perculator'. "Its time for the percolator....."
15. You felt the sadness of seeing the Laurel Movie Theatre go, but more so the pizza shop next door. Hmmmm.... VILLA PIZZA, Yum. I also recall the WAXIE MAXIE's across the way - bought my tapes there and cassette singles - HA
16. Only half of your friends have actually ever been to the Laurel Race Track. I still have yet to go there. The smell of horse shit does not sit well with me.
17. Half of your friends have a homemade tattoo of some sort. Of course they do - what else did we do when we skipped school - played with needles and indian ink.
18. There is evidence that you once had 'the bangs' that took hours and a full bottle of hairspray to do. I plead the fifth - although if you are curious - I have freshman through senior year pictures with plenty of aquanet and was always told that I had Laurel Hair. Now that was back in the early 90's - I am clear of "LAURELism's" now.
19. You know how important the Main Street Festival is. Its only the biggest white trash festival in May. Gather all your Bud drinking, Marlboro smoking pals and join in.
20. You remember playing in the plastic pools and the .25 cent rides in front of K-mart. The cheesy merry-go- round and blue pools with dinosaurs in them and built in slides.
21. You've been guilty of wearing krimNL10dency, Da*Link Went, Bonidacci Bionzo, Damani Dada, & RP55 t-shirts - I have no clue what you are talking about.
22. More than half of your friends smoke, and 90 percent of them started at the Skating Rink. so it is not my mom's fault - damnit.
23. You have given money to the people at the intersection of Cherry Lane and Route 1 at least 3 times. No way - I went to school with those people.
24. You or one of your friends have bought weed from the ice cream man. OMG - all the time at Town Center Pool when I was lifeguarding there. He had the "BEST" stash.
25. You secretly wish you could pull of Reebok Classics again. Um, no.
26. You were offended by number 25 because you still do. HA - no I don't think so.
27. You have been in at least one fist fight. With men
28. You know what it means when you lunch, what it is when you gank something, what it is to kirk on someone. http://www.urbandictionary.com/ or http://www.laurel.com/ for defs.
29. Most of your white friends moms still wear acrylic nails and go to the tanning salon. I wish I could get my mom to tan. She looks like Casper.
30. The only reason you read the Laurel Leader is to see who from High School got locked up over the weekend and for what. Did it earlier today - I am guilty
31. Everytime you get pulled over, it's never one cop by themselves, it's always at least 2, if not 3 cars - because Laurel is the hood and they all just came from Dunkin Doughnuts or Ihop.
32. You couldn't believe when Laurel High School won there first game in FOREVER! HA - um they/we won games??? LOL
33. You know that Contee Road is a bad neighborhood, and that all the white kids from Montpelier rep it. I am "the kid" from Montpelier - HA HA HA
34. You have laughed, understood or been offended by any of these. - I got out while I could.
Yours truly,
~S~
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