10 Reasons to Love and Hate Living in DC

Let me start out by saying, I do not technically live here. I live in the suburbs about 35 miles south of the city and I commute everyday, but if you take into account the amount of time I spend here for work, I am technically here more than home. (see green peg on map).

I love DC because:

1. Great Museums (Smithsonian)

2. The beach, mountains for skiing, Baltimore, Annapolis, Philly, Richmond and NYC are all fairly close

3. Plenty of great restaurants and CAKELOVE!

4. We also have pretty decent radio stations

5. The bars

6. The shopping

7. Georgetown

8. The Mall

9. The C&O Canal, Billy goat trail and rock-climbing

10. The FBI

Oh yeah and this.

I hate DC because:

1. Hot dog vendors from VA that drive their carts around

2. Bike Messengers (I just had to deal with one of them for a filing and I almost smacked him)

3. Taxi Cab drivers…..don't get me started

4. Terrorism

5. Pigeons

6. Street layout

7. Homelessness

8. The people that are not from here t hat "act" like they know…..

9. The cost of living

10. The Metro

And from this site:

"In truth, you can't swing a stick in Washington without smacking somebody who doesn't resent the onerous way the Federal government asserts itself on the residents of the city. Many are the people in Congress who simply believe that DC residents are superfluous to the city's existence, and the way the Feds use the city as their Petri dish of social experimentation is just putrid. Beyond that, DC's like a lot of cities: dysfunctional local government, weird city layout, crime, homelessness, a certain amount of dickheads and weirdoes, et cetera."

Winter Wonderland.....I think not.

I am NOT a fan of this weather we have been having on the East Coast for the past couple of weeks.

As a matter of fact, I would rather live someplace MUCH warmer. I may reconsider this though if somewhere in Mother Nature's little mind she felt it was ok to stop dropping ice from the atmosphere and just make it pretty, fluffy white snow; however I feel this is highly unlikely.

Last night we got snow again. It started when we were at M&K's for Rachel's first birthday party. Wait, let me rephrase that first sentence, we got snow where I live which fell on top of the ice that is on the ground from the ice storm that happened last Tuesday. Supposedly, according to the DC area Meteorologists, this was not supposed to be a big deal. Well I have news for them, it turned into one.

The State of Maryland must not have prepared because the majority of my ride to work this morning was driving on slushy MAIN ROADS that has a nice shiny layer of black ice over them. I am terrified to drive on roads like this. Reason being – I took a nice face first nose dive in my brand new Jeep and rolled over into a marsh near the marina near my house.

This is not what I like to refer to as a good time.

I lay hanging upside down in my seat, thing scattered all over the place and stuck. It was dark and when I opened my eyes after it happened my initial reactions were 1) I am dead; 2) No one saw this happen and I have no clue how far off the road I went or how deep down in the marsh I am; and 3) I need to find my cell phone, John is going to kill me. I luckily was able to locate my cell phone to try to call John but when the antenna is facing the ground you don't get a very good signal. I finally got through and he called Ronnie his cousin who lived literally 2 seconds away to come help me. Luckily, someone had seen it happen and called the police and EMT and then came down to try to get me out of the Jeep.

This man was unable to help me out, after I begged him for scissors to cut my seat belt which was preventing me from escaping. He was able to get me sans scissors and amazingly I was not hurt or just in shock.

(*Side note* - I had a dress on this day and he got a free show of the va-jay jay.)

The ambulance came and I refused to go to the hospital. John, Ronnie and Jamie (his wife) all showed up at about this time and Jamie says to me "Wow, all that and you did not even put a run in your pantyhose." (Leave it to Jamie to make me laugh). This is when my back started hurting. They begin to drag the Jeep out of the marsh, John takes me home and then to the hospital. I was given painkillers and sent on my way. Since then I have gone to several sessions of physical therapy although I look back and things could have been worse.

Funny thing to this story is: John and his father went to the market near the marina later that day and overheard a man talking about how he helped some girl out of the marsh and that she was wearing a dress. Um, yeah, my husband got to here all about my flashing!

I wrote this because I am wearing a dress today and I swear to god if there is black ice on my way home my Corporate Credit card will be buying me new clothes to wear tomorrow and a hotel for the night.

Happy Monday!

Field Trips in DC

Are a bad idea…..especially when cranky, sick office workers like myself have to go out at lunch. It also does not help that I work near the National Theater and the Warner Theater.

Who’s idea was it to come out with Christmas plays? And why on earth would anyone want to sign a permission slip for their child to see it?

I am just bitter because I had to dodge 800 rugrats running all over the place when I went to the liquor store at lunch to cash in my lottery tickets that I got as a Christmas gift. I ended up trading in the winners for losers, but had I know I was going to be faced with this on my way back to work I would have taken the money and invested in a fifth of something.

Ahh…..Tis the Season!

Entertainment, I think not

While I find it only fitting (I rode the metro at lunch today) to comment on this interesting piece of news below. I would also like to comment that I refused to bring it back because it was not worth my $1.85 to have to walk down two escalators because they were not working. Besides, I needed to cool off after I got caught up in a protest in front of Winston and Straughn, my destination.

nbc4.com
Metro Board To Consider Entertainment Program
Performances Would Be Outdoors
POSTED: 6:03 am EST December 5, 2006

WASHINGTON -- Metro may soon be a place for music, theater, dance and other art forms, in addition to the daily commute. (Great, another added distraction for tourists)

A proposal is going to Metro's board of directors that would allow entertainment at Metro stations for the first time. (Wait, backup. We have had performances all along – the Chinese violin guy, the quartet that dresses up, the guy with the electric guitar and several others)

Performances would be outdoors and only at designated station entrances from April to October. They would take place mostly during lunchtime hours and at the end of the day. Metro's manager in charge of the Art in Transit program, Michael McBride, said commuters are too focused on getting to work to have entertainment added in the morning. (Miracle – they are finally making sense)

The nation's second-busiest subway system is one of the few that prohibit entertainment inside stations. (No, another smart move on Metro’s part and believe me I rarely commend them on anything.)

The idea is to have local arts councils choose performers. They would be paid by the arts councils, not Metro. (yes, because if Metro were to choose I am sure it would be horrible along with their other poor choices (seating, signage, etc.)

Copyright 2006 by The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

I always wondered why they had people in the booths in the parking lots....

nbc4.com

Metro Parking Lots Will Accept Credit Cards
Pilot Program Starts At 6 Locations

POSTED: 7:17 am EST December 5, 2006

WASHINGTON -- Soon drivers will be able to use credit cards to pay at Metro parking lots. (Great, so all that crap about the Smart Trip card being the only way to exit parking lots has been a lie)

The Washington Metropolitan Transit Authority says it will launch a pilot program in the spring that gives people the option to use credit cards in addition to the SmartTrip cards that are required now. (Did they ever stop to think about the lines that this will cause in the parking lots when we are trying to get out of there to go home?)

A spokesman told The Examiner that the program comes in response to customer needs and requests. (Here is my request – I want my $10 back for that SmartTrip card that I had to have so I could retrieve my car at the end of the day)

In the spring, Metro will have credit card machines at six locations, including the Anacostia, Largo, New Carrollton, Shady Grove, Franconia-Springfield and Vienna stations. (Well at least Morgan Blvd. is not on there, I am safe for the time being)

Metro's board of directors gave the agency's staff permission this summer to develop a pilot program for accepting credit cards at parking lots. (so that’s what they were busy doing all summer)

They don't know yet how soon after the pilot program they can extend the machines to all parking locations. (hopefully it will take a LONG time)


Copyright 2006 by The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

I am on a roll today….I think I will start this bad boy back up.

I just don't know what to say about this.....except that they better not have decided to recreate the accident scene during rush hour this morning......GRRRRRRR!

Metro 'Track Walker' Killed; Another Critically Injured
Dec 1st - 6:14am

By MATTHEW BARAKATAssociated Press Writer
ALEXANDRIA, Va. (AP) - An out-of-service Metrorail train struck two track workers Thursday, killing one and critically injuring the other, officials said.
It was the second death among workers in the Washington area's transit system this year and the 14th in Metro's 30-year history.
The accident occurred about 9:30 a.m. on an elevated section of track between the Huntington and Eisenhower Avenue stations on the Yellow Line. The train involved had no passengers on board and was headed to a rail yard in Alexandria.
Metro identified the worker who died as Leslie A. Cherry, a 29-year employee from Maryland. The injured employee, who was not identified, began working for the transit system in April.
The two employees were "track walkers" and were doing routine inspections, Metro said. Mark Rosenker, chairman of the National Transportation Safety Board, said later that the workers knew they were on an active track.
Both the NTSB and Metro are investigating.
"Obviously, something terrible has gone wrong," Jack Requa, acting general manager of the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority, told reporters.
Rosenker said investigators retrieved the train's vehicle monitoring system, which he compared to an airplane's flight data recorder. He said the board would retrieve the dispatch tapes Friday and predicted the tapes would help shed light on what happened.
Metro said the train operator, who has worked for Metro since 1999, was tested for drugs and alcohol after the accident. Test results were still pending.
The Eisenhower Avenue and Huntington stations were closed for more than four hours, and Metro ran temporary shuttle-bus service. The stations reopened in time for the evening rush hour.
Emergency workers could be seen loading a body onto one of several ambulances outside the Eisenhower Avenue station nearly three hours after the accident. Fire trucks and police vehicles from several jurisdictions, including the City of Alexandria and Fairfax County, were at the scene.
Fourteen Metro workers have died on the job since the system opened in 1976, including six who were struck by trains. The most recent fatalities occurred in May and in October 2005. Before that, the last death was in 1997.
(Copyright 2006 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

What seemed like a good idea at the time……

Today has just started out bad. Wait, I take that back, it was good when I woke up and got ready (except for Jackson’s leg issue) and left-until I got almost to Rt.4 and realized I did not have my cell phone. I don’t know what it is but I have this extreme fear that the one time I do not have it something horrible will happen and I will need it. So I turned around and went all the way back down 260 and home to get it and then was on my way. I decided because of weather issues later and how horrible I know traffic will be that I would take the Metro. BAD IDEA!!!! I got to work an hour late due to “single tracking” on the Blue line. I was stuck in a train crammed full of people complaining and sitting next to a man that kept muttering under his breath, “What the hell is the problem?” and “Come on!” I almost at one point looked over at him and said “Shut the fuck up and just do your Sudoku puzzle and deal, we are ALL in the same situation!”

When I got off at Metro Center I had the pleasure of walking next to the smelliest man/bum ever. I swear he must have been walking around and pissed his pants several times. From the looks of his clothes it was probably over a month’s time. I finally arrived at work and have been flustered ever since. My commute home better not end up like the morning commute or I will probably lose it.

Don't make me cut you!

Teacher Allegedly Stabs Student With Scissors
Administrators: Teacher To Be Reassigned

POSTED: 6:41 pm EDT May 24, 2006
UPDATED: 6:51 am EDT May 25, 2006

OXON HILL, MD

A teacher in Prince George's County is free on bond after allegedly stabbing a student with a pair of scissors. (Sweet – thank god they didn’t use such force when I was in school)

Police and school officials said the incident happened Wednesday at the Oxon Hill High School in Oxon Hill, Md. (not surprising – PG County in the HIZZOUSE!)

Some students said it all began with horseplay between the teacher, 34-year-old Sean Tape, and a 15-year-old student. But authorities said the horseplay turned to anger and witnesses said Tape purposely cut the student on the arm. ( I wonder if he taught Art)

"There was blood everywhere," one student told News4. "He took his T-shirt off and wrapped it around his arm and the T-shirt got soaked." (Apparently they were not safety scissors like the ones in elementary school)

The student was treated by the school nurse and then taken to a hospital where he received eight stitches. Tape was arrested and charged with second-degree assault and posted a $1,000 bond. (There goes his summer salary)

On campus, Tape is said to be popular and liked by faculty and kids, and some students refuse to believe the attack was malicious. (Lets contemplate this…..scissors are to stab as attack is to harmless??? - I don’t think you will find that in the SAT’s)

Lleah Sturdivant told News4, "Everybody always plays with Mr. Tape and they joke around and so he was playing back and they were playing with him and he was like, back up, back up or I'm going to slice you, and when the boy moved forward, he moved forward too and it just cut him." (WHY on earth was he brandishing scissors- someone please explain this to me- I wanna know if he was a damn art teacher!)

School administrators released a statement that read in part, "Effective immediately, the teacher will be separated from the student population ... ( and placed in the school holding cell until further notice) Our investigation will determine what actions are appropriate." (ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Appropriate?- this is what you deal with in PG County – when its obvious and right there in front of you- HA)

A school spokesman said Tape will not be fired at this point or even put on paid administrative leave. (I.E. – Early summer vacation) Instead, he will report to a different job site Thursday morning. ( and practice stabbing teachers next)

Copyright 2006 by nbc4.com. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

http://www.nbc4.com/news/9270081/detail.html

~S~

Thirsty Thursday

First things first – I’d like to apologize for taking such an extended “personal leave” from the blog. I don’t really have a reason…I just wanted to apologize. Thank you for your understanding (except MB – you can stuff your sorrys in a sack, mister).

S and I decided to take the ‘chro this morning – we have a gathering to attend after work that more that likely will involve the consumption of a great amount of alcohol, so we’ll need that extra half hour on the train to sober up. S almost gets rammed (and not in the good way) by some biznatch on the road into the parking lot of the Morgan Boulevard of Broken Dreams station. So that sets us off into a rant of “Why you gotta pick on Whitey?” We often discuss this. Once we get into the station, I attempt to add value to my DumbTrip card from a normal fare card. What does the facking machine do? Takes my fare card but doesn’t add value. What the fug is that all about? So that set me off…granted, it was only an extra $1.40, but that’s not the point…

Fairly uneventful ride on the Big Bad Blue, until I spotted…THE LITTLE PERSON. In case you don’t know, I am extremely freaked out by those who are vertically-challenged (there are other things about them that freak me out, but I won’t get into it because I don’t want to piss anybody off more than I already have). To quote Austin Powers: “Small hands…smell like cabbage…” That should be sufficient. I pointed him out to S, but she said she already saw him – no doubt she wanted to prevent me from seeing him, sweetheart that she is, but she should know I can spot them a mile away.

“Tiny” wasn’t enough to distract me from the new noises coming from the speakers of the ‘chro car. I guess they really did change the voice…and the “ding” sound. Now, I know I tend to forget where I am at times (I’m already losing it…), but it sounded like I was already in Vegas this morning – “BINGBONGBINGBONG” – I thought I won the g-d jackpot. Not to mention the extremely loud screeching noise that erupts from the speaker right before the train reaches a stop – either they really need to get bizzy with the WD-40, or they just killed a very large cat who was also scraping his enormous claws down an abnormally large chalkboard. Yes, it was THAT annoying.

Made it to McFearsome Square in record time – enough to hit the SBux at 16th and K for my vanilla latte and S’s black tea (“Ebony…and ivory….living in perfect harmony…”).

Happy Hour Thursday, bitches!

~B~

Metro to Replace Hundreds of Bike Racks (ah…and another chance for ~S~ to speak her mind)
May 18th - 7:57am
Adrienne Mitchell, WTOP Radio

WASHINGTON - Metro plans to replace hundreds of bike racks outside rail stations with new, U-shaped ones. (and this is important news because…….)

"At some stations people weren't even using the older racks," says Metro spokeswoman Candace Smith. "They were opting to lock their bikes to trees, to light poles, because the old racks were missing pieces or they had a loose installation, or sometimes they were even just stripped down." (that’s a personal option – putting U-shaped racks up isn’t going to stop people from tying their bikes to trees)

The new racks will be more efficient. (how so?)

"The new U-racks also allow you to get nearly twice the capacity of the old racks." (and there are just sooooo many bike riders, my suggestion – plant more trees and install more lights - its too dark as it is in most stations and their parking lots.)

Smith says Metro is also hoping bike riders turn out for Bike to Work Day Friday. (I will start polishing my bike off)

No bikes are allowed on Metro trains between 7 a.m. and 10 a.m. or between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m., but they are allowed on Metro buses anytime. (oy – why take the bus if you are riding your bike in the first place? Are you freakin lazy?)

(Copyright 2006 by WTOP. All Rights Reserved.)
http://wtop.com/?nid=25&sid=795160


I would just like to thank WTOP and WMTA for enlightening me with pointless CHRO’ information. I know it is imperative that we know about the new bike racks because we all ride our bikes to the metro station and apparently to the bus stops as well all the time. What would be really nice is if they would add PARKING SPACES so people could park a car and not be faced with full lots on a daily basis. Who gives a FACK about bike racks????