New Year's Resolutions

Of course, it's a work in progress, but here's what I have so far:

1. Be a better listener (this has been an ongoing resolution, so please bear with me...I'm trying, I swear! I know I'll be a better friend to all my friends because of it!! I just wish I had my Tennessee Girl's memory...I miss my Huggs!!)
2. Run the Cherry Blossom 10-Mile in April
3. Run the Rock 'n Roll Marathon in San Diego in June (a band every mile AND a beer at the finish? That's a good time - it's my Bonnaroo for 2006) - it's for a great cause, and I'm super-psyched - thanks, JJ!! :)
4. Learn to LOVE children versus cowering in their presense - after all, I am due to become Aunt B in a matter of weeks! (no, not the one from Andy Griffith - I'll be soooooo much cooler)
5. Buy a house - as my little S says, "Don't be scurrd..." I've done better at budgeting my $$, and I really want to do this. No sense waiting for my Prince Charming before I jump into the real estate pond - maybe I was meant to be the Fun Single One of my friends!

Ok, that's all I have for now. I'm sure I'll add to it after the 1st. I'm excited for the NYE party S and JJ are having - I'll be spending it with my 4 goodest friends, and I'm so glad they'll ALL be there. :) I love you all, regardless of my behavior for the past few months.

Go Frogs and Go Donkeys!! I'll post tomorrow b4 the party, hopefully with at least a win for my Alma Mater!

Peace - B

P.S. - Colorado ROCKED! I'll post some pictures tomorrow (maybe)....

Friendship takes the effort of two people......

The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.-- Abraham Lincoln

One who looks for a friend without faults will have none. -- Hasidic Saying

True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost -- Charles Caleb Colton (1825)

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.-Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968)

~S~ - I should have done this initially when I posted last night.

Bore…….Bored……..Boring!

I should have guessed it would have been a dull day after it only took me 20 minutes to get to Largo – yes, you read right, Largo. No Morgan Blvd. today. I was actually able to park at Largo Town Center, on the 4th floor of the parking garage no less. Trust me – I was just as amazed as everyone else that was able to find a parking space there today. Well I guess the good thing is, I may get home faster that usual because there is no traffic. Possibly, the sooner I can get home to speed up my skin cancer process at the tanning salon and run 2 miles or attempt to as I did yesterday.

So actually yesterday was a good day – got up, ran 2 miles (I guess – I will have to ask my distance tracker AKA my husband the marathon man), cleaned up all the Christmas crap that was out, put it all away, did laundry, tried to clean the house and went to visit my husbands goddaughter. Then I was even feeling domestic so I made dinner. One that I actually was complimented on before my asking “so, honey, how is your dinner?” I was rather impressed with myself if I do say so. In addition, the best part is I refrained from drinking anything with alcohol in it so I could test out my Lunesta so I can see what getting sleep feels like again. Amazing I tell ya. I did not even have the urge to watch Lifetime or CNN in the middle of the night and that NEVER happens. Therefore, Lunesta it is. I heart sleep again. WOOO HOOO – watch out though this could only mean I will become even higher strung that I already am.

So my PIK is in Colorado playing the roll of Ski Bunny – so jealous but at least she took the time to send me an email. She is the bestest in the whole world and we cannot wait till she comes home! Miss ya B!

~S~

"All the riches, baby..."

"won't mean anything..." Ah, Gwennie - do you really mean that??? Because it sure meant a lot to the folks on my flight from D/FW to Vail. I've never seen that much collagen mixed with screaming kids in my LIFE. Granted, I should be used to it by now - I'm from that part of Colorado. However, those people aren't. Coloradans don't do collagen. The "family" occupying the 2 rows in front of me - both sides of the aisle - the row across from me, and the row behind me, for a grand total of 21 seats, were exhibiting the perfect example of why natives hate tourists. Up and down, up and down, Mama Designer Jeans (not unlike the $150 S purchased and returned in Vegas, I'm sure) was practically encouraging her brood to ignore the instructions from our flight attendants. The Jamacian nanny was of no help, just staring wide-eyed at the whole scene, but being yelled at by M.D.J. the whole flight for forgetting things. Grrr....and I had forgotten my damn iPod, and b/c of turbulance in the mountains, no beverage service - I couldn't even get drunk and forget about them. Grrr....but the flight did end, unfortunately without my luggage. Perfect end to a PERFECT day. (BTW - my luggage came in on another flight that afternoon, and it got to my parent's house in Glenwood Springs around 8pm - I know y'all were worried!)

Good Christmas - I got the one thing I asked for, my Pumas, and they are SUPER SWEET. I also got some other cool stuff too, like first editions of almost all the Nancy Drew books. Go ahead and say it, S and Boss Man - DORK. Going skiing the rest of the time I'm here - watch out all you touristas in Aspen, I'm gonna run you bitches over! - and drink my beloved Fat Tire Amber Ale, which I cannot get in the Commonwealth, or anywhere on the East Coast. Oh well. But if I was a rich girl...na na na na na na, na na na na na na na na na....I'd have it flown in on my private jet, piloted by my Harijuku girls...

Big shout-outs to Jake the Snake (JJ, that was PAINFUL to type, fyi...) and Clinton Portis for their big wins on Saturday. I hope Jake doesn't blow it...but when they do lose to my Peyton, I will be sad. Peyton, don't be hatin' - that'll be the only time I'll root for another team over you. Promise. I'm gonna have your babies, after all...

Have a great work-week everyone! I'll be thinking of you while I'm on vaca in my beloved home state! BTW - here's a link to info about Glenwood Springs, if y'all are at all interested in my roots: http://www.ci.glenwood-springs.co.us/. Check out the Tourism link...the Hot Springs are stinky, but feel oh-so-good after skiing.

Lata suckas,
B

“The Freaks Come out at Night”….and in the morning.

No CHRO’ for me today, however I did have some driving experiences. I was not even 10 minutes from home and I spotted SANTA walking down 260. I tried to scope out the sleigh and reindeer to see if it had broken down but to no avail.

As I was making my way down Rt. 4 into the city– I spotted my George Clinton look-alike walking near the Marlo Furniture in Forestville. Only, today, to my surprise, he was dressed up like a NBA Player….WTF? Well sort of – lets just say I saw the “rebirth of the STARTER Jacket and outfit” this morning. He was proudly waving his bible as usual so I was not too taken aback.

Other than that, my ride was unusually pleasant this morning. My aggressive driving skills and techniques for weaving in and out of traffic have finally proved themselves. It only took me 45 minutes to get here. YAY ME!

~S~

A monster has been created.....

uh oh.....

We must seem like we are HIGH MAINTENANCE....oops

DCDivas' Wish List

It's all about the accessories this year!!

4 Days & Counting…

Christmas is sneaking up on us! My legs felt like icicles this morning as I was walking from my warm car (nicely heated up to 90 degrees according to the thermostat) to the Morgan Blvd. Station to go stand there and wait for the BBB to show up.

I managed to get on a 4 car train (lucky me) that was having some issues coming to a complete stop as it hurled people around and jerked to a stop. Normally, I would be OK with this, however, not on a packed 4-car train. Did I mention that almost everyone was carrying presents? That just makes it worse. Someone forgot to send me the “Santa Memo” because I left mine at home (good thing too because some of them are alcoholic and I probably would have tapped into them). So I get off at McPherson Square to be greeted by the overly friendly EXPRESS Newspaper man who insists on getting in your face everyday and smiling as he is trying to shove you yet another newspaper. Sorry pal, I already threw mine away. I think from now on I will save it and give it back to him so he gets the point. I also noticed this morning that the same guy that was standing at the top of the escalators yesterday was there again in the same position. One of two things is happening here. He is frozen in that position OR he has taken up residency at Vermont and I. I think it is the latter.

I contemplated driving today but chose not to since I have dinner with the in-laws and their company tonight, and driving would put me home even later than the CHOR' if I leave at 5:30. Besides, this is my last BBB ride until next Tuesday when I return to work. Driving in tomorrow so I can go eat dinner with my girls (compliments of a very nice attorney - T.B.)! Should be an adventure….hopefully I will not have to use any spare quarters on the way home (inside joke). I promise I will be extremely careful and no drinking and driving.

I suppose I will work on concocting the Green Bean Casserole that my mother has insisted that I make instead of cheesecake for Christmas dinner. Should be a memorable event with our “vegetarian dishes and root vegetables” – Don’t ask. We were all specifically instructed to bring something and then she proceeded to give us the rest of the menu in the invite, which sounds like something off the Food Network. Maybe I will refer to her as “Rachel Ray” instead of “Mom” that day – BUT ONLY if she can do it for “$40 a Day” or make it a “30-Minute Meal”

Ok I am out. More later!

~S~

Day Two

So I felt guilty riding the ‘chro this morning (even after Puffy Coat Girl stuck her coat all up in my face…grrr). I’m still in shock over the strike in New York. Can you even imagine fighting for a cab in NYC right now?? And now, after the city announced the $1M fine per day against the union, the union is planning to appeal, calling the penalty “excessive” (source: The Express, baby!!). Do you mean to tell me they have the NERVE to shout “excessive”? What the F do you call a strike that strands thousands of commuters in one of the largest cities in the world? Um, un-excessive? (I’m sure that’s not a word, but I couldn’t think of anything else – blogger’s-block!) Jebus – I’m glad the union has all that time to put forth an appeal. Good thing they don’t have to deal with the strike or anything…ok, no more, I promise. Just needed a little soap-box time on public transportation.

But speaking of New York, I read to my complete surprise that my beloved Yankees may be acquiring Johnny Damon (I call him Jesus, b/c of the beard…) of the Red Sox. What the?? I guess I’m living in an alternate universe by thinking that loyalty still matters in sports. Silly me, how could I forget that money is the only thing that matters!!! But I should already know that, since I heart the Yankees, right MB?? :)

Sorry for the lack of Orange Crush reports – nothing worth talking about. But I figured I should say something, because I wouldn’t want any of y’all to forget about me!

Peace and hairgrease,

B

The Exciting Life

Yes folks, I'm living it. That's why I haven't posted in a while...wait, no. I haven't posted because I have nothing to post. The 'Chro has been dull - same ol', same ol'. I must, however, extend my condolences to the subway and bus riders of NYC. I can't even IMAGINE what they're going through right now - but I'm sure the cabbies are LOVIN' IT! They prolly have bumper stickers that say "Strikes Rule!!" Kudos, New York. I'm sure DC would have a panic-attack and shut down, even though Anthony Williams would call us a bunch of p*ssies - I heart him, he's such a stud. Ok, sorry, I'm all over the board today.

Speaking of, I spent my morning putting together a Cube (pictured above). Yes. That's what I do now. Play. I'm sure you're all out there saying, "Why the F are you complaining?" (Which is what I would say to the Transit workers in NYC...) But c'mon - 2 degrees to end up playing with plastic toys?? Hey, but I can say I do like the stickers that came with it: "This isn't a job, it's hell with flourescent lights." HA HA HA HA HA Anywho, I hope to have more exciting stories in the next few days, before I leave to celebrate the holidays with the fam damily in Colorado. If not, I ALWAYS have a good plane-ride story...no, nothing to do with the Mile-High Club (get your mind out of the gutter, Boss Man!).

Ta-ta for now, my lovelies...

B

Little Drummer Boy (Err….I Mean Girl?)

I will begin with my ride home last night on the BBB. At the Metro Center Station, this somewhat crazed man charged (literally) onto the train, ripped off his yellow puffy coat and proceeded to read the Business Section of the Washington Post until he departed at Benning Road. As he read his Business Section (potential Stock Broker??...Numbers make me crazy too) he began rocking back and forth and singing while dancing with the newspaper. Very odd. Must be the cold weather.

This morning, I had the pleasure of sitting next to a woman who was playing the (air) drums that Metro provides for its customers with portable MP3 and CD Players. Wish my iPod got me jumpin’ that much in the morning. I knew I was getting old (grrr….January is getting closer as we speak) when I wanted to turn to her and ask her to sit still, like a child.

Gotta finish some last minute Christmas shopping sometime this week. Not looking forward to that at all. I am sure that will be the subject of some of my next encounters. Have a wonderful day. I am sure there will be more on my way home.

~S~

Tis the season……

Not a metro story but just felt like writing. I am trying to figure out why the holidays make people crazy. I was reading the paper this morning and two things grabbed my attention. The man that killed his 63-year-old wife and then shot himself (he was 58). Now I know that women can be a pain in the ass, trust me I am a pain in the ass (at least I can admit it). And I am fairly sure my husband loves me enough not to kill me, although he has said he was going to beat me (can you blame him?). But for Christ’s sake – this guy could have at least waited until after the New Year. Why fuck up the holidays for everyone. Just fuck up the New Year. Decide that should be your resolution and bring the New Year in with a bang. HA…ok not funny.
The second little news tid bit that stood out to me was the guy who took his box cutter into CVS in Annapolis and stole 500 bottles of Body Wash. It looks like someone needed to do a little last minute Christmas shopping (aka, thieving?) and was getting stocking stuffers. What gets me is it was CVS brand…. come on now, why the hell do you think they have Bath and Body Works and the Body Shop. Believe me, I am not condoning theft but I used to work at Express which had a Bath and Body Works attached and you saw people steal that stuff all the time. Go threaten a Limited employee with a box cutter – bet she will let you take whatever you want.
Ok, now I am scaring myself. I don’t want to turn into a “CHRISTMAS CRAZY” myself. Need to finish up some last minute shopping today for my wonderful husband (no, sorry honey, I want that plasma as much as you do but we will have to wait. I also thought about surprising you with a motorcycle but we have nowhere to put that either, so we will just have to get our bikes together in the spring).
I guess I will just have to suck it up and pay the exorbitant amount of online shipping – but who cares – better late than never. I also have to do Christmas cards, now that the majority of mine came in I know who to send them too (ha!). So I am out. More tomorrow. Mondays on the Metro is always an adventure.

~S~

My boyfriend.....

He's so nice! I hope we run into eachother again sometime pal!



~S~

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words…..

…….and this one describe it all. Happy Friday everyone. I was lucky enough o find a good parking space at Morgan Bldv., Alan gave me my newspaper and told me to have a nice weekend, and then it all went downhill (well actually that happened this morning when my husband told me I smelled like a bottle of liquor). Screaming kids….all the way to L’Enfant Plaza, a girl with runny pantyhose and kid with Tupac Jeans (literally he was on there like a shrine or something…anyone think I should become the fashion police?) and for the second day in a row, I ran into and ran away from people that I went to either middle school or high school with. WTF! I thought I was the only one in this city that grew up in the area and stayed. Apparently not. It happens to me all the time. I managed to turn the other way and play dumb – I have nothing to say to anyone that I went to school with – except “thanks for making my life miserable and for the petty arguments between girls who were supposed to be best friends and I am sorry I didn’t bitch slap you when I had the chance”.

This leads me into my next story about the hooch at M&S last night at the table behind us. She was about to get stomped herself compliments of me and the bottle of gin that I probably drank at the “Holiday Party” (we must be politically correct as to not offend anyone). She insisted on being a petty bitch and acting like a 2 – year old. WAIT! That would have been me had I gotten into a bar fight. Anyhow, she got lucky – in the spirit of the holiday and against “M.B’s.” wishes and instigating comments, I left her alone. She will forever be referred to as the “Fat Bitch” even if she was not – hee hee. I also had a run in with Jim Vance from Channel 4 (11:00 PM News my friends!) – What a nice man. The lesson learned from that run in was do not call your brother who is a recovering alcoholic and tell him you met Jim Vance (in a bar) who is also recovering from something. You will get hung up on.

Ok I need to get back to work – now that the magnet mystery is solved – thanks Sheila for pointing them out this morning…..didn’t think I made it all the way back across the office to place them in H’s office. More later I am sure I will think of something since it has not been work since arrived.

P.S. forgive the rambling…..the Starbucks coffee is making me jumpy…

~S~

Liar Liar……

So I was too tired last night to think of any Vegas stories. So while I am sitting here waiting for “T” to come in I will give you some highlights. $150 dollar jeans, onion rings and A-1 sauce, Firey Hot Cheetos, Sushi, two bottles of cheap wine and red and black on the roulette table....thats all you need to know. (Can't forget the 4 AM party on Monday morning next door)

~S~

Um……anyone care to analyze?

My Horoscope For Today (Capricorn)

As you take another step upwards today, “S”, you may suddenly realize that there is a large portion of the mountain that you had previously unaccounted for. Perhaps this steep portion of the climb was not visible from below, where you started the trip. Do not panic. By overreacting to the unknown you may lose your balance and go sliding down the face of the mountain. Instead, collect yourself, rest, and plan your strategy one stop at a time.

BTW – I am back. I will be posting stories from Vegas as soon as I can remember them all. No internet in the room – well there was for a gazillion dollars so I decided not to pay the money.

I will try to compile tonight.


~S~

A Gentle Reminder...

(I meant to post last night, but I had some, er, doggies to tend to…) I must say I am very disappointed in my experience on the Soul Train yesterday. Other than a bit of traffic to Morgan, nothing exciting. Unfortunately, I’m not as talented as S in being able to read the church signs as I drive by – my luck, I would rear-end somebody. Yeah, I’m not a very good driver. One weird thing on the BBB – nobody wanted to sit next to me during the morning commute, but it was one right after the other sitting next to me on the way back, and this was even with fully-open benches. WTF? Do I look better at night? No wonder I never get taken on any lunch dates…

I drove into the city this morning – I didn’t want to leave a car full o’ crap at the metro station, even though that would’ve been more in my price range (btw, sooooo glad Thursday is PAYDAY). Lots of horn-honking, which really does no good, let’s face it. I only honk my horn to let someone know I’m coming out of a blind spot – like the alley where I buy my crack cocaine. Everyone just tunes out the horn-honking any other time, so why even bother?? I prefer to make obscene hand gestures, unless I’m in unfamiliar territory, because who knows who will get out of a car with a gun the size of MY car??!! Usually, I just cuss up a storm in the privacy of my own car, which I feel sends negative vibes to the person/car pissing me off. Passive-aggressive, that’s me!!!

My stay in So. MD has been lovely – I just heart the Bay Area – but I’m excited to be going back to my little place. I’m sure we’ll all be hearing about Vegas from my Partner In Crime for a few days – something about a cowboy convention and the strong desire to steal a plasma TV?!! Should make for some interesting posts!! We missed you, S!!

B

Drinkin' and Drivin'

What exactly is this picture telling you NOT to do? "Don't drink martinis and get chaufferred around in your limo!"?? Silly Google Images...

Happy Saturday, everyone! Just kickin' it here at S & JJ's house for the weekend - btw guys, the boys are behaving WONDERFULLY, no troubles at all. No 'chro this weekend, but I have been lucky enough to experience the driving techniques of the folks in So. MD - I must say, you're all excellent drunk drivers. Seriously. I went out last night to see Kadee's band play in Deale (#2 on my list of favorite MD town names. #1?? Mayo, of course). S was impressed that I made it to Deale on my own - Kadee gives great directions. I didn't drink too much, since I was afraid of getting lost on the way back and was soooo not in the mood for that - or for getting a DUI/DWI, whatever you get in MD. So I was able to watch a few peeps stumble out of the bar, and get behind the wheel of their car. I pulled out behind them, and was surprised at how well they drive drunk. No joke - I'm not trying to make light of it, really. It's just that I've been trying to master the driving drunk thing for a few years now, only to give up because I preferred taking the 'chro. These people have given me new hope - it CAN be done. Maybe when I move out here, I'll have more time to perfect this golden skill (since beers are only $3, or $2.50 if you get lucky).

Went to the small grocery store this afternoon, Roland's. Oh, and they have a liquor store in the grocery store too - BRILLIANT. That's really all I wanted to say about Roland's.

Well, I'm sure I'll have stories on Monday, since I'll be making the commute on the BBB that day (hopefully from Morgan Blvd - not sure I'm ready for the ghetto of Addison). Stay tuned!

B

Vegas Here I Come!

So I want to take this opportunity while I am waiting for my husband to pack (we are leaving in an hour and he still needs to pack. I am guilty though also. I packed this morning, although for me that’s a tedious process, thank god my suitcase is huge and I was able to fit 10 pairs of shoes and three purses in there to go with the numerous outfits) to thank “B” aka "Partner in Crime" for watching my babies while I am gone. They promised me this morning that they will stop eating the ornaments off the tree and stop unwrapping gifts so you wouldn’t have to beat them while we were gone. Also be forewarned that Finnegan was told if he was bad he was going to go live with you. He already threw up the glitter ornaments he ate during the past week as a going away gift to “JJ” and I. Jackson said he will try to keep that jackass in line; and promised he would be fine.


We will keep everyone posted on if we win. Hopefully everything I learned in “Bringing Down the House” will come rushing back to me so I will win big at blackjack.


Adios…. ~S~

Wacky Wednesday!

My question of the day (and I just may have to research this) is……does the District of Columbia Public School System provide buses for the heathens that I ride with in the morning? I do not know what they are teaching them, vocabulary-wise, however I do know that “FUCK” must be on every spelling test given in third through sixth grade. It was so bad amongst these three (maybe middle school) kids that some man repeatedly asked them to “please stop cursing for a little bit” which in turn caused them to became even more belligerent and start saying it over and over again. At some point the conversation finally turned to how someone’s mother cannot stop “havin babies” and “she need to stop cuz she don’t take care of them”. That conversation led to one of the boys (I was trying not to stare – thank god they were sitting behind me) to start talking about how he was going to go to his fathers this weekend and get his check and if he didn’t have it he would stomp him. OMG….WTF is all I have to say.

This one is for you “B” – You would have had a heart attack when the 3.5” midget stepped on the train at Metro Center. HA. I wanted to text you but I would have fallen over because I decided to stand up at L’EnFante Plaza because the woman next to me (I will refer to her as Octopus – wanted to get off). Sad thing was I deliberately sat next to her because I thought she would be one that would be uncomfortable. Little does she know – she now has been given a nickname. Moreover, her arms extending all over the seat and it did not bother me one bit – HA HA HA – yeah right. I did it to myself. I always get squished by big women. They see the tiny little girl and decide that it is ok to sit down (or on) me.

Lastly, (not Chro’ related) as I was walking up K Street this morning, my favorite bum (well I have lots of favorites , but for today…) was flailing his hands wildly in the air because he heard sirens. I almost lost my Starbucks. This leads me to believe that he was traumatized as a child and is having posttraumatic stress disorder. Must have involved sirens. OUT!

~S~

You'll shoot your eye out, kid

DC peeps crack me up – they don’t know what to do in bad weather. They look at snow like it’s some foreign object from Pluto, or worse, West Virginia. Perfect example was this morning, as I was walking to C-house – yes, I was cold, but I grew up in Colorado so I’m not allowed to bitch. I saw a man walking his dog, wearing a snowsuit – yes, a snowsuit, with the puffy legs and arms, like the kid in “A Christmas Story” (remember Randy? “I can’t put my arms down!” HA). I laughed out loud, but don’t worry, the insulation from his suit muffeled my laughter.

I proceeded into the C-house station, and as I made my way down to the platform, I encountered a whole mess ‘o people. Shiznit – that meant a delay. I looked up at the marquee thingy that lists the time before the next train, and dammit if that wasn’t the longest 5 minutes I’ve waited for a train. Why do they even put the time up there if it’s not accurate?? Whatevs. Train #1 came – I stood out of the way to avoid being trampled, because the crazy Arlingtonians WILL kill anything in their path to get on a train (S will affirm this – I’ve only made her ride into work from my house once, and I’m sure she’ll never do it again!). As I watched a tiny girl of the Asian Persuasion cram her way on between some guy’s legs as the doors closed, I sighed. Train #2 approached – same scenario, except this time, a man walked away from the crammed train throwing out expletives – I swear, tourrettes, no lie.

As Train #3 approached, it appeared fairly empty, so I boarded this time. Except there was a woman in a wheelchair near the doors with a dog. Help me out – why the dog too? She was reading – not Braille – so I don’t think she was blind. Anyways, she was close to the door on the opposite side, and her dog was on her left side, by the door. Some A**HOLE squeezed his way around me to be in that space, practically stepping on the poor dog. Punk. Then, when the train stopped at FogBot, a guy with crutches hobbled off the train – WTF, was I riding the ShortTrain to work?? Tourrettes, wheelchair, crutches – all on my train. It was a doozy, folks.

Well, here’s to hoping that a workout will pass enough time for me to avoid the rush after work. Regardless, I’m sure there will be a story to tell. Stay tuned, my little monkeys!

B

I hate snow….and rude people!

So my wonderful boss tells me that he understands that I may have to leave early today because he is aware of where I live because he docks his sailboat here. So I manage to make it through the day. Nice “HUGE” lunch at Café Asia with my “partner in crime” and then I managed to finish hours and hours of dictation for a chapter of a book that he is writing. So finally, I tell him that one of our clients is crazy and I want to go home. He laughs, and tells me to go home and play in the snow tonight and all day tomorrow. I take that as….. “S” just hang out in So. Maryland tomorrow and give DC a try Wed. I tell him no…. “Hey T, I am going to try to be in tomorrow since I will be abandoning you Friday through next Wednesday when I am playing in Vegas (stories to come while I am gone….I am sure – since my husband and I will both probably take our laptops). So anyhow, I mosey on outta the good place of employment at 5:00 PM instead of the normal 5:30 or later since I am an awesome legal assistant who was told to praise herself as much as she wants on her review she has to fill out (GAY!)….walk to Farragut and end up waiting for 10 minutes for the BBB. WTF….oh wait it gets better, once it does come(everyone in DC must ride that train at that time because I literally had to force my way onto the train), I tried to let some nice gentleman that had been waiting since the last Orange Crush came with me but he was about as frustrated as I was. No way in hell anyone was letting him on….and he was even nice enough to let women on first! He decided to wait it out another 10 minutes for the next BBB. I am sure he was thinking “BITCHES” the entire time. Well consider me one because - screw that shit…I was on. I tried and I was not waiting. I am tired of being nice. No more Mrs. Nice Girl. So I hold out bobbing my way back and forth to Metro Center and finally get a seat. I would like to thank Jane Magazine for featuring Joaquin Phoenix this month….love him. But not as much as I love my “JJ”. (He has his Jessica Simpson and Kelly Clarkson and I have my Joaquin. And Eminem….what can I say – we are strange).

Literally it was nuts – all the way to MB where I got off….standing room only. I think it would only be appropriate to thank Metro for making sure that I did not break my neck while walking to my car. I will be sure to pack snowshoes in the future or skis because that is how slippery it was as the fancy little snow plows and salt tractors sat under the awning barely touched. ROCK ON METRO…I heart you…. its now confirmed!

~S~

HA!

http://wtop.com/?nid=30&sid=636563 ……That has got to be the most hilarious thing I have read in awhile. Now for those of you that know me, you are well aware that I have a slight case of tourettes and I generally say what’s on my mind. So that being said – WTF is Metro thinking. This is great - "We're trying to get people not to block the doors - even when the platform is crowded," ok Jimbo….you must have a f’ing PhD and drive your CLK Mercedes to the Metro headquarters, wherever they may be and not ride the CHRO. That has got to be the most asinine thing I have read in awhile. Great, put up new signs and have some announcer try to speed up passengers, oh yeah and not to mention that this will probably cause a raise in the prices to ride because they have to pay for this nonsense somehow. First of all, how many of us actually pay attention to what they are saying. Not me. The only one that gets my attention is the announcement to watch for suspicious packages and that one doesn’t even get me anymore. Secondly, look at the jackasses that ride the metro, now this may be mean but how many of them do you think are literate? Not many on my line. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but good lord, when you are speaking in Ebonics – what the hell makes you think they can read. Last I checked there was not an Ebonics encyclopedia. Now let me say this – I am only speaking of the kids. There are a ton of professionals that ride the BBB with me, but I also get the kids that go from Benning Road to wherever it is they go during the day (lets hope its not school – that would be just as bad as PG County Schools which I don’t like to tell people that I am a proud graduate of – for fear that I will be expected to speak in Ebonics).
http://www.wmata.com/about/met_news/story.cfm?ID=494 ……here’s another. Now I know I said that I may try to ride this weekend and I even had plans on Sunday to go with my husband to visit my partner in crime but we will be driving. Sorry guys – I am not in the mood for delays on the weekend considering I deal with them daily. The herky jerky of the train for several stops because somehow they get backed up but are still cram packed. I swear I have whiplash. Do you think I could file a claim for that?

~S~

Wow, Billy Shatner was quite the dashing young man...

There's just nothing like sweating your buns off (wait...nope, still there! sorry...) on the elliptical, walking down to the platform, being smashed into people before you get on the train, and have coffee spilled on you. Yes, this happened to me about an hour ago at good ol' FarraGUT W. To make matters worse, that lovely little voice did come on to tell us what the delay was...IN SPANISH. Not sure how long I waited, but started to get even more impatient as coffee was spilled on me for the second time. Yes, the man standing directly in front of me speaking very loudly to impress the girl he was with in what I can ONLY assume was a fake British accent spilled coffee on me for the second time - he likes gesturing wildly with his hands, I noticed a little too late in the game.

Once I finally got on the OC, I was positioned directly behind a girl with her hair done up in some elaborate bun with chopsticks poking out of it, about 2 inches from my face. She was sort of rocking back and forth, so I nearly lost an eye - kinda would've been cool to be a pirate though...damn...Then the train stopped at FogBot (that's slang for Foggy Bottom, according to the kids) where the train was crammed even more so. These 3 jackasses were right next to me, the one talking very loudly directly into my ear, for no reason at all - I sniffed for alcohol, but they appeared to be sober (in smell, anyway). I think it was a I-can-pull-more-Star-Trek-references-out-of-my-ass-than-you-can contest, because that's all they were talking about. Shame, really - one of them was kinda cute, but one of my rules is that I must be the bigger dork - he needs to be ashamed of ME, not the other way around...anyways, I almost didn't make it off at C-house and I had to shove a woman out of the way trying to get on before I could get off. She muttered "Bitch" under her breath, but instead of pulling a S (heart u) and flattening her to the ground, I simply kept on walking, thinking only of the beer awaiting me in my fridge. Ah, Yuengling - how can you be so cheap AND so good?? Here's to you, my little Trekkie!

B