Field Trips in DC

Are a bad idea…..especially when cranky, sick office workers like myself have to go out at lunch. It also does not help that I work near the National Theater and the Warner Theater.

Who’s idea was it to come out with Christmas plays? And why on earth would anyone want to sign a permission slip for their child to see it?

I am just bitter because I had to dodge 800 rugrats running all over the place when I went to the liquor store at lunch to cash in my lottery tickets that I got as a Christmas gift. I ended up trading in the winners for losers, but had I know I was going to be faced with this on my way back to work I would have taken the money and invested in a fifth of something.

Ahh…..Tis the Season!

Entertainment, I think not

While I find it only fitting (I rode the metro at lunch today) to comment on this interesting piece of news below. I would also like to comment that I refused to bring it back because it was not worth my $1.85 to have to walk down two escalators because they were not working. Besides, I needed to cool off after I got caught up in a protest in front of Winston and Straughn, my destination.

nbc4.com
Metro Board To Consider Entertainment Program
Performances Would Be Outdoors
POSTED: 6:03 am EST December 5, 2006

WASHINGTON -- Metro may soon be a place for music, theater, dance and other art forms, in addition to the daily commute. (Great, another added distraction for tourists)

A proposal is going to Metro's board of directors that would allow entertainment at Metro stations for the first time. (Wait, backup. We have had performances all along – the Chinese violin guy, the quartet that dresses up, the guy with the electric guitar and several others)

Performances would be outdoors and only at designated station entrances from April to October. They would take place mostly during lunchtime hours and at the end of the day. Metro's manager in charge of the Art in Transit program, Michael McBride, said commuters are too focused on getting to work to have entertainment added in the morning. (Miracle – they are finally making sense)

The nation's second-busiest subway system is one of the few that prohibit entertainment inside stations. (No, another smart move on Metro’s part and believe me I rarely commend them on anything.)

The idea is to have local arts councils choose performers. They would be paid by the arts councils, not Metro. (yes, because if Metro were to choose I am sure it would be horrible along with their other poor choices (seating, signage, etc.)

Copyright 2006 by The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

I always wondered why they had people in the booths in the parking lots....

nbc4.com

Metro Parking Lots Will Accept Credit Cards
Pilot Program Starts At 6 Locations

POSTED: 7:17 am EST December 5, 2006

WASHINGTON -- Soon drivers will be able to use credit cards to pay at Metro parking lots. (Great, so all that crap about the Smart Trip card being the only way to exit parking lots has been a lie)

The Washington Metropolitan Transit Authority says it will launch a pilot program in the spring that gives people the option to use credit cards in addition to the SmartTrip cards that are required now. (Did they ever stop to think about the lines that this will cause in the parking lots when we are trying to get out of there to go home?)

A spokesman told The Examiner that the program comes in response to customer needs and requests. (Here is my request – I want my $10 back for that SmartTrip card that I had to have so I could retrieve my car at the end of the day)

In the spring, Metro will have credit card machines at six locations, including the Anacostia, Largo, New Carrollton, Shady Grove, Franconia-Springfield and Vienna stations. (Well at least Morgan Blvd. is not on there, I am safe for the time being)

Metro's board of directors gave the agency's staff permission this summer to develop a pilot program for accepting credit cards at parking lots. (so that’s what they were busy doing all summer)

They don't know yet how soon after the pilot program they can extend the machines to all parking locations. (hopefully it will take a LONG time)


Copyright 2006 by The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

I am on a roll today….I think I will start this bad boy back up.

I just don't know what to say about this.....except that they better not have decided to recreate the accident scene during rush hour this morning......GRRRRRRR!

Metro 'Track Walker' Killed; Another Critically Injured
Dec 1st - 6:14am

By MATTHEW BARAKATAssociated Press Writer
ALEXANDRIA, Va. (AP) - An out-of-service Metrorail train struck two track workers Thursday, killing one and critically injuring the other, officials said.
It was the second death among workers in the Washington area's transit system this year and the 14th in Metro's 30-year history.
The accident occurred about 9:30 a.m. on an elevated section of track between the Huntington and Eisenhower Avenue stations on the Yellow Line. The train involved had no passengers on board and was headed to a rail yard in Alexandria.
Metro identified the worker who died as Leslie A. Cherry, a 29-year employee from Maryland. The injured employee, who was not identified, began working for the transit system in April.
The two employees were "track walkers" and were doing routine inspections, Metro said. Mark Rosenker, chairman of the National Transportation Safety Board, said later that the workers knew they were on an active track.
Both the NTSB and Metro are investigating.
"Obviously, something terrible has gone wrong," Jack Requa, acting general manager of the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority, told reporters.
Rosenker said investigators retrieved the train's vehicle monitoring system, which he compared to an airplane's flight data recorder. He said the board would retrieve the dispatch tapes Friday and predicted the tapes would help shed light on what happened.
Metro said the train operator, who has worked for Metro since 1999, was tested for drugs and alcohol after the accident. Test results were still pending.
The Eisenhower Avenue and Huntington stations were closed for more than four hours, and Metro ran temporary shuttle-bus service. The stations reopened in time for the evening rush hour.
Emergency workers could be seen loading a body onto one of several ambulances outside the Eisenhower Avenue station nearly three hours after the accident. Fire trucks and police vehicles from several jurisdictions, including the City of Alexandria and Fairfax County, were at the scene.
Fourteen Metro workers have died on the job since the system opened in 1976, including six who were struck by trains. The most recent fatalities occurred in May and in October 2005. Before that, the last death was in 1997.
(Copyright 2006 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

What seemed like a good idea at the time……

Today has just started out bad. Wait, I take that back, it was good when I woke up and got ready (except for Jackson’s leg issue) and left-until I got almost to Rt.4 and realized I did not have my cell phone. I don’t know what it is but I have this extreme fear that the one time I do not have it something horrible will happen and I will need it. So I turned around and went all the way back down 260 and home to get it and then was on my way. I decided because of weather issues later and how horrible I know traffic will be that I would take the Metro. BAD IDEA!!!! I got to work an hour late due to “single tracking” on the Blue line. I was stuck in a train crammed full of people complaining and sitting next to a man that kept muttering under his breath, “What the hell is the problem?” and “Come on!” I almost at one point looked over at him and said “Shut the fuck up and just do your Sudoku puzzle and deal, we are ALL in the same situation!”

When I got off at Metro Center I had the pleasure of walking next to the smelliest man/bum ever. I swear he must have been walking around and pissed his pants several times. From the looks of his clothes it was probably over a month’s time. I finally arrived at work and have been flustered ever since. My commute home better not end up like the morning commute or I will probably lose it.

Don't make me cut you!

Teacher Allegedly Stabs Student With Scissors
Administrators: Teacher To Be Reassigned

POSTED: 6:41 pm EDT May 24, 2006
UPDATED: 6:51 am EDT May 25, 2006

OXON HILL, MD

A teacher in Prince George's County is free on bond after allegedly stabbing a student with a pair of scissors. (Sweet – thank god they didn’t use such force when I was in school)

Police and school officials said the incident happened Wednesday at the Oxon Hill High School in Oxon Hill, Md. (not surprising – PG County in the HIZZOUSE!)

Some students said it all began with horseplay between the teacher, 34-year-old Sean Tape, and a 15-year-old student. But authorities said the horseplay turned to anger and witnesses said Tape purposely cut the student on the arm. ( I wonder if he taught Art)

"There was blood everywhere," one student told News4. "He took his T-shirt off and wrapped it around his arm and the T-shirt got soaked." (Apparently they were not safety scissors like the ones in elementary school)

The student was treated by the school nurse and then taken to a hospital where he received eight stitches. Tape was arrested and charged with second-degree assault and posted a $1,000 bond. (There goes his summer salary)

On campus, Tape is said to be popular and liked by faculty and kids, and some students refuse to believe the attack was malicious. (Lets contemplate this…..scissors are to stab as attack is to harmless??? - I don’t think you will find that in the SAT’s)

Lleah Sturdivant told News4, "Everybody always plays with Mr. Tape and they joke around and so he was playing back and they were playing with him and he was like, back up, back up or I'm going to slice you, and when the boy moved forward, he moved forward too and it just cut him." (WHY on earth was he brandishing scissors- someone please explain this to me- I wanna know if he was a damn art teacher!)

School administrators released a statement that read in part, "Effective immediately, the teacher will be separated from the student population ... ( and placed in the school holding cell until further notice) Our investigation will determine what actions are appropriate." (ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Appropriate?- this is what you deal with in PG County – when its obvious and right there in front of you- HA)

A school spokesman said Tape will not be fired at this point or even put on paid administrative leave. (I.E. – Early summer vacation) Instead, he will report to a different job site Thursday morning. ( and practice stabbing teachers next)

Copyright 2006 by nbc4.com. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

http://www.nbc4.com/news/9270081/detail.html

~S~

Thirsty Thursday

First things first – I’d like to apologize for taking such an extended “personal leave” from the blog. I don’t really have a reason…I just wanted to apologize. Thank you for your understanding (except MB – you can stuff your sorrys in a sack, mister).

S and I decided to take the ‘chro this morning – we have a gathering to attend after work that more that likely will involve the consumption of a great amount of alcohol, so we’ll need that extra half hour on the train to sober up. S almost gets rammed (and not in the good way) by some biznatch on the road into the parking lot of the Morgan Boulevard of Broken Dreams station. So that sets us off into a rant of “Why you gotta pick on Whitey?” We often discuss this. Once we get into the station, I attempt to add value to my DumbTrip card from a normal fare card. What does the facking machine do? Takes my fare card but doesn’t add value. What the fug is that all about? So that set me off…granted, it was only an extra $1.40, but that’s not the point…

Fairly uneventful ride on the Big Bad Blue, until I spotted…THE LITTLE PERSON. In case you don’t know, I am extremely freaked out by those who are vertically-challenged (there are other things about them that freak me out, but I won’t get into it because I don’t want to piss anybody off more than I already have). To quote Austin Powers: “Small hands…smell like cabbage…” That should be sufficient. I pointed him out to S, but she said she already saw him – no doubt she wanted to prevent me from seeing him, sweetheart that she is, but she should know I can spot them a mile away.

“Tiny” wasn’t enough to distract me from the new noises coming from the speakers of the ‘chro car. I guess they really did change the voice…and the “ding” sound. Now, I know I tend to forget where I am at times (I’m already losing it…), but it sounded like I was already in Vegas this morning – “BINGBONGBINGBONG” – I thought I won the g-d jackpot. Not to mention the extremely loud screeching noise that erupts from the speaker right before the train reaches a stop – either they really need to get bizzy with the WD-40, or they just killed a very large cat who was also scraping his enormous claws down an abnormally large chalkboard. Yes, it was THAT annoying.

Made it to McFearsome Square in record time – enough to hit the SBux at 16th and K for my vanilla latte and S’s black tea (“Ebony…and ivory….living in perfect harmony…”).

Happy Hour Thursday, bitches!

~B~

Metro to Replace Hundreds of Bike Racks (ah…and another chance for ~S~ to speak her mind)
May 18th - 7:57am
Adrienne Mitchell, WTOP Radio

WASHINGTON - Metro plans to replace hundreds of bike racks outside rail stations with new, U-shaped ones. (and this is important news because…….)

"At some stations people weren't even using the older racks," says Metro spokeswoman Candace Smith. "They were opting to lock their bikes to trees, to light poles, because the old racks were missing pieces or they had a loose installation, or sometimes they were even just stripped down." (that’s a personal option – putting U-shaped racks up isn’t going to stop people from tying their bikes to trees)

The new racks will be more efficient. (how so?)

"The new U-racks also allow you to get nearly twice the capacity of the old racks." (and there are just sooooo many bike riders, my suggestion – plant more trees and install more lights - its too dark as it is in most stations and their parking lots.)

Smith says Metro is also hoping bike riders turn out for Bike to Work Day Friday. (I will start polishing my bike off)

No bikes are allowed on Metro trains between 7 a.m. and 10 a.m. or between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m., but they are allowed on Metro buses anytime. (oy – why take the bus if you are riding your bike in the first place? Are you freakin lazy?)

(Copyright 2006 by WTOP. All Rights Reserved.)
http://wtop.com/?nid=25&sid=795160


I would just like to thank WTOP and WMTA for enlightening me with pointless CHRO’ information. I know it is imperative that we know about the new bike racks because we all ride our bikes to the metro station and apparently to the bus stops as well all the time. What would be really nice is if they would add PARKING SPACES so people could park a car and not be faced with full lots on a daily basis. Who gives a FACK about bike racks????

What will they think of next?

As I read WTOP as I do every morning when I get to work I came across the following article and decided this was the perfect opportunity to catch up on my metro blogging. And as I have done in the past I will throw my two cents out there within the article – Enjoy!

Metro May Eliminate Carpet in Subway Cars
May 10th - 7:44 am

WASHINGTON (AP) - Metro may eliminate a luxury that was added 30 years ago to help lure suburbanites out of their cars. (I would hardly call the carpet a luxury – It’s a good day if you don’t step on a patch of pilled carpet that you may or may not trip on.)

The transit agency this summer will test the idea of removing carpet in a pair of cars and replace it with slip-resistant vinyl flooring. (Easier to scrape the gum off of and more likely that you will stick to the gross floor because of all the bottles that you find rolling around.)

Metro, the nation's second busiest subway system, is one of just a few major transit systems to have cushions and carpet. (We should feel so special – My ass hardly ever got to feel a cushion with all the people that ride the train and get on at the magical stop that allows you to feel the cushion on the seat)

Metro's new interim general manager Dan Tangherlini (can anyone pronounce this characters name....or is it just me?) wants to give riders a feel for a subway car that would be less expensive to maintain. (Thought – maybe this will allow them to lower fares for riding…....I may be on to something, although I seriously doubt it.) It costs more than $1 million per year to replace filthy carpet and worn-out seat cushions and more than $6 million per year to clean the rail cars (hmm…I never recall seeing any NON-FILTHY .carpet , is it perhaps because they Don’t replace it like they say they do?)

The carpet comes from Taiwan (why does everything have to be MADE IN TAIWAN?) and costs $5,200 per rail car. The seat cushions cost $17 to $35 and are made by prisoners in Virginia (I suppose I am ok with this, however Metro does travel throughout DC and Maryland also – what are THOSE prisoners doing????)

Information from: The Washington Post (http://wtop.com/?nid=25&sid=786884)
(Copyright 2006 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)


So there you have it folks, my two cents for the morning. Since I no longer ride the BBB and I find this terribly sad, I have to resort to reading about the CHRO unles something exciting happens on the RAGING RED when i go to lay in the "Cancer Coffin". One good things has come out of it though, I have found secret “traffic avoiding” ways throughout SE DC. When in doubt, follow the caravan of white people that are all turning at the same intersection and continue to follow them until you are in a familiar area.

Happy Hump Day!
~S~

This is what happens when you are sick

Your Monster Profile Death Warrior You Feast On: Coffee You Lurk Around In: The Hearts of Men You Especially Like to Torment: Hipsters What's" Your Monster Name?

Your Monster Profile

Death Warrior You Feast On: Coffee You Lurk Around In: The Hearts of Men You Especially Like to Torment: Hipsters

What's Your Monster Name?

You do stupid surveys and catch up on blogging - although it has nothing to do with the Metro which I fully intended on riding today so I could visit the "CANCER COFFIN". Oh well, I suppose the only coffin I will be laying in is the coffin of sickness here on my couch.

Happy CINCO de MAYO!

~S~

OY! Its tourist season in DC!

I ventured out at lunch today since it was so warm outside and I missed my tanning opportunity at good ol’ Casa del Sol last night because every girl in DC decided its time to break out the skirts and tank tops and the Casper look doesn’t fare well with that. I tool the Red from Farragut North to Cleveland Park. Low and behold a “small group” of tourists got off the train, and like every good tourist does, didn’t stand to the right on the escalator and stopped at the top of the elevator because they didn’t know where they were going. (Imagine that- HA)I maneuvered myself around them and escaped to the second escalator (which is pretty long and steep) before I ended up being stuck again for a 5 minute ride up the world’s slowest moving stairway. I made it out in record timing granted I had “touristas” in my way.

I walked over to the tanning salon for what I like to refer to “the best 8 minutes of my day” and scorched myself (not literally) and then headed back to work.

On my return trip, it was a madhouse. Had I had to deal with all the children that were arriving then I may have just started screaming out loud. My first encounter down the long escalator was a hoard of children literally taking up more than half the escalator with hardly any parental supervision. All the “RICHIES” must have gathered the rugrats together and hired two nannies to watch the brats during spring break. (Tip: there are other places to go than the zoo, which are more educational, considering the zoo just isn’t what it used to be when I was little). This whole thing was somewhat overwhelming until my head shaking was interrupted by the mother yelling “HABIB, hold on to the handle, HOLD ON TO THE HANDLE!” “We will all have a safer ride if you just hold on to the handle, HABIB!” Um, yeah, little “HABIB” was not listening. Now I am not a parent but had I not listened to my mother when I was “HABIB’s” age she would have risked her own life and whipped her Dr. Scholl’s sandal off and beaten my ass. (Somewhere down the line she realized this was better than a wooden spoon and more portable as well)

Ah….alas – DC in the springtime. Thank you TRIPADVISOR for naming DC as one of the TOP 10 Vacation spots of the week.

~S~

Please don’t fornicate on the CHRO.

I came into work this morning (almost on time), was stopped by the receptionist, who so kindly gave me the message that I was being summoned at 9:03 AM to make international calls to patch through to my boss. After I took care of that, I proceeded to do my normal activities -Myspace, Hotmail, WTOP, checked on my Kate Spade.com order and Craigslist. WHOA – low and behold as I am scrolling down and amusing myself with the newly posted MC’s I came across this “eye-catching” title-You fucked me on the Orange/Blue Line. – 26, as seen at the following page (http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mis/150111844.html). Of course, I am going to look (anyone would). That is pretty ballsy and I wanted to try to ponder how it was possible. So I read it and am slightly disturbed by this incident. The CHRO' is gross and dirty – and then to say they came on the other person’s face is just wrong. How the hell did you leave the train with the face mask plastered to your face, let alone clean up your mess (Handkerchief aside – how old was this person and what happened to the used handkerchief). I should probably stop while I ahead rather than get into what the poor CHRO’ employee was probably thinking as they were cleaning the car later (ifs it possible that it really happens?)

I am still wondering if this is man and woman or man and man. Any thoughts?

Happy Tuesday!
~S~

Traffic Traffic and more traffic.

This is my life now that I drive– although I am extremely happy to finally have a car pool buddy to share my agony with. This morning we ran into Don on Rt. 4 and thanked him for the use of the trailer to help “B” move this past weekend. We also had a run in with “USA Man” aka “George Clinton” and his bible and lastly the other exciting thing that happened was the Revival at the Pennsylvania Avenue Baptist Church tomorrow at 7:30 with Dr. “BALTIMORE”. If you can’t make that – B will update you on the one around the corner from her house that is taking place next weekend for 4 days…..That could only mean one thing – there are a lot of people ion South County that need to be saved.

On a lighter note – I will be riding the bus tonight if it is raining down Connecticut to my doctor’s office. If it’s not raining I was thinking about running down there. We will see – I can barely walk and I need to be able to at least run 10 miles on Sunday for the Cherry Blossom 10-miler that I signed myself up for as a training run for my upcoming marathon. Don’t tell anyone – I am really just doing it for the t-shirt.

Have a great day! I will be sure to give you tales of the bus – should I happen to ride it tonight.

~S~

Why I remain childless.....

Fun times today on the Raging Red. Too bad nothing exciting happened when I went to Cleveland Park for lunch. I ride the Chro for the hell of it to have something exciting happen (something exciting always happens) and nothing. Not one thing. So upsetting. I am going to use the following article and ad my two –cents since we know people really care about that.

Dad Accidentally Leaves Baby in Car at Metro
Mar 23rd - 3:36pm

DERWOOD, Md. - A red-faced father has some explaining to do after authorities say he got on the Metro -- completely forgetting his baby daughter was still in the car. (ok, now my dad did this once, although he accidentally forgot to drop my brother off at the babysitters on his way to work so he ended up taking the young lad with him and realized he was in the car when J said “hey dad, you forgot to drop me off” after my father had already gotten all the way there)

Commuters passing through a Shady Grove Metro station parking lot noticed the baby in the parked car around 8 a.m. on Thursday, Montgomery County Police say. (oh….ok. I keep forgetting it is safer in Montgomery County to look in peoples cars and be nosey, unlike P.G. County where you will either (a) have an alarm go off at you immediately upon stepping within 5 feet of the car or (b) will be shot by someone’s cousin who is on car surveillance while the person is at work)

Firefighters opened the car and took the 7-month-old girl to Shady Grove Hospital. Doctors examined the baby and determined she was in good condition. (Just a guess – but this guy is in DEEP SHIT when he gets home)

Representatives from Child Protective Services interviewed the parents and determined that the baby had not been intentionally left alone. Her mother came to pick her up later. (And immediately went to the Circuit Court of Montgomery County and filed separation papers)

While police found the baby, police say a light bulb went off atop Jonathan Sander's head (literally – almost like the light bulb went off when he inseminated his wife and realized he would be a horrible father), and he realized what he had done. He was already in D.C., but grabbed a train back to Shady Grove.

Sander, of North Potomac (of course, he’s rich – he will get a great attorney and get off with probation), was given a citation charging him with leaving a child under age eight unattended. (so you are telling me that once my non-existent child turns 8 I can freely leave the kid in the car instead of toting it around)

Police say Sander is not usually responsible for the girl's childcare arrangements.
The citation carries a penalty of up to $500 and up to 30 days in jail.

(Copyright 2006 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Article can be found at http://wtop.com/?nid=25&sid=734611

~S~

Person Becomes Trapped In Metro Elevator
Fire Personnel Come To Rescue

POSTED: 1:10 pm EST March 14, 2006
UPDATED: 1:35 pm EST March 14, 2006

FOREST GLEN, Md.

Metro said one person had to be rescued from an elevator at the Forest Glen Metro Station Tuesday morning.

Metro said the person became trapped at about 9:15 a.m. and was rescued about an hour and a half later.

Personnel from the Montgomery County Fire and Rescue Department rescued the person, Metro said.
An investigation is under way to determine what caused the elevator to stop. (my theory – not enough elevator outages all ready)

http://www.nbc4.com/news/7995105/detail.html

This is slightly amusing to me. I have never been trapped in an elevator until I started working in DC, and fortunately it was not in a Metro elevator (that’s just lazy) I was only stuck in it was for two minutes. The woman I was trapped with was getting hysterical and I was the one that remained calm. I was just thinking that there probably would have been a death had we been trapped in there for an hour and a half. I would have killed her.

~S~

Married to the Sea….Part 2

B is right – so perfect and the above says it all. Especially since it is supposed to be 80 degrees today. I am totally stoked about that – makes you think of BBQ’s in the summer and sitting outside and people watching.

I did happen to stumble onto the BBB last Friday morning and nothing eventful happened. I haven’t rode the damn thing in a month and all I get is some drop dead gorgeous guy with his drop dead gorgeous girlfriend. They looked like the Abercrombie Twins. Needless to say I was very upset with my trip. The ride home faired much better.

B and I drove home and waited an hour for pizza. Yeah – we called ahead but we still had to wait 45 minutes once we got there. It was all worth it – we were carbing up for Saturday’s run, which should have been 12 miles but we cut it back to 5.5 due to the pain in my mouth that needed Akbar’s (the dentist and I are on a first name basis now) assistance. So we did our run, ran to Giant to get Jackson’s expensive meds that he needs injected three times a week and then I dropped $200 on dry-cleaning. I really need to stop waiting until the last minute to get things dry-cleaned. It’s a no win situation because I do that and then I go out because I need new work clothes and end up buying outfits to replace the dirty ones. It always comes back to kick me in the ass. I ended up taking B’ on a tour of Laurel while we were at my dentist – the highlight of the afternoon – the giant liquor store and $7 eyebrow waxes.

Sunday, I spent a good part of the day riding my motorcycle. I got that baby up to 70 MPH and did 40+ miles. I was very proud of myself – first time in the “BIG” roads.!!!

I suppose I should come to terms with the fact that it’s Monday and I am work and actually do something worthwhile.

Happy Warm Weather!

~S~

Married to the Sea

http://www.marriedtothesea.com/ Ok, this website is HILARIOUS!! Our faithful readers may recall S posting about a website called http://www.nataliedee.com - this new one is a collaboration of Natalie and Drew, who does http://www.toothpastefordinner.com. The pictures are classic - ENJOY!!

And sorry about the lack of posts - I'm just so tired of riding the 'chro these days: same shizz, different day. People have been more rude that normal lately, and that's just no fun to post about (as you're understanding right now...). But this morning, I did stand on the platform next to a guy who hocked a lugie - yes - onto the tracks. And I didn't think men these days had class - boy was I wrong!! Ha ha

Happy Monday, biatches!
~B~

Up high…down low…

“Give a ‘High Five’ to a deserving Metro employee” – (http://www.wmata.com/about/met_news/story.cfm?ID=594) Now, what exactly am I supposed to do with this? Walk up to the little booth, ask the man to come out for a second, then say “Up high!”????? I know, I know, they don’t mean LITERALLY, but still – it’s kinda funny. Do they really think people will fill out the comment card online? And what do the “nominees” get?? So many questions left unanswered – isn’t that typical of the ‘chro?! And who's offended by this picture to the left? I know I am!!

In other news, our girl Randi Miller debuted her ‘chro voice on the Line of Sunshine yesterday morning, to what the Express this morning called “mixed reviews.” What I don’t understand is why The Voice's messages are becoming more detailed. Here are the new messages:

1) *Chime* Doors opening. Step back so customers may exit. When boarding move to the center of the car.

2) *Chime* Step back. Doors closing.

And this one is CLASSIC:

3) (To be played if doors can not close after second message - ha ha.) *Chime* Step back to allow the doors to close.

Um, if the fools didn’t “step back” the first time, why would they do it the second time? And WMATA, just so you know, spending money to re-vamp The Voice will not make for a more pleasant experience – no one listens to The Voice anyway.

Not many more daily ‘chro rides in my future, I’m afraid. This is my last month – I’m in the process of buying a house out in SoMD, should be in by April! But don’t worry – I’m sure S and I will have many good stories involving our daily commute via Jeep/Acura/Pontiac (depending on who’s driving!).

Happy Friday everyone – High Five!

~B~

Could it be…?

I swear Kirk Herbstreit’s little brother was on the ‘chro elevator with me last night. So cute – his cheeks were still rosy! It’s been a while since I’ve seen some hotness on or around the ‘chro, so thank you, Li’l Kirk! Please tell your older brother to just look pretty and not be so annoying this fall!

Oh, and this message is for the “young man” who got on the OC at Rosslyn this morning: NOBODY BUT YOU LIKES DEATH METAL AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING. Seriously, you have headphones for a reason, so don’t turn them into speakers. Sheesh…you totally ruined my ability to enjoy reading about all the crime in this city. Have some respect for your elders! That poor man wearing the fedora next to you must have been miserable. Of course, wearing a fedora will do that to you…

S, you and JJ are in my prayers – tons of kisses for Poo from his Auntie B :)

~B~

Grrrrrr......

You Are a Little Scary

You've got a nice edge to you. Use it.

How Scary Are You?

Yes I am. And I think that the hoochies in the gym in our building last night should take note of this. It is extremely rude (well to me at least, and ~B~ can vouch for this too), when two ghetto rats come into the gym and insist on yelling and talking smack about everyone they know. Not only are they loud and obnoxious – they were eyeballing everyone in there. At one point I almost turned to them and said – “Girls, you two can stay on the treadmill and lift weights until the sun don’t shine and you will still be fat” or “better not walk too fast, you may strain yourself”. I am angry. I am in there trying to concentrate on my running and lifting and these two are annoying the hell out of me. I could have taken both of them, but then reality set in and I decided that I am actually an adult now so I should behave like one. Maybe next time I will use it to my advantage and ask one of them if I could use them for when I bench press. Welcome to DC – the city of RUDE!

~S~

Back to the roots.....

Now I would not normally boast or brag about where I grew up but my brother posted this as a bulletin on myspace today and I feel that I have to add my two cents so you will understand and get to know me better. Here goes - my comments are in purple.

1. You spent every Friday and Saturday night of your youth at the skating rink, and that's normal. Hell yeah this was normal. What was even more normal was fighting with your parents about going two nights in a row and giving you money for it and who the next boy you were going to "slow skate" with. I was a damn good roller skater by the way with my white skates with hot pink wheels.

2. Your parents call Weis "We is" - Yeah but they still shop at Giant or Safeway

3. You actually know what a Little Tavern and a Tastee Freez are - Hmm -Tastee Freeze - only the best chocolate shakes in the world and also the largest rats running from the dumpster.

4. You remember going to Laurel Mall when they still had stores, and ROY ROGERS! I also remember when it had a Gap, Merry Go Round (IOU BABY) County Seat and Express (shhh...don't tell anyone I used to manage that Express)

5. You consider Columbia to be "Snobby, Rich or Bouje" and successively to be "Country". Now I consider Columbia to be a little ghetto. (Worked in that Express also - shhh...)

6. You drive past the HUGE Christmas Tree on Montgomery Street every year. I also recall when some un-named friends were arsonists and tried to burn that sucker down.

7. The Bus, is only referred to as Connect-A-Ride...otherwise you mean Metro, and those 2 aren't good to mix up My only source of transportation after I got in trouble several times and lost privledges to my brand new car.

8. A goose or a duck has violently tried to attack you at one point or another at Laurel Lakes. I made out at Laurel Lakes - never went there when it was light. So I cannot recall this.

9. Half of your friends claim D.C. and the other half claim Baltimore. Claim DC - so much better than B'More HON!

10. You knew growing up what a 'Whiskey Bottom' girl meant. No, not a girl that could shoot WHISKEY our of her ass - this is just where she grew up. Her hood was call Whiskey Bottom

11. People don't throw out 'Crips' and 'Bloods', they throw out 'El Palo'. Hmm...maybe I am too old for this one - or got out before the gangs started???

12. You have debated whether or not DC GoGo or Baltimore Club is better. Safer for the white kids to hit up a club in B'More....Always went to HOME THROWN GO GO's in HS. Or to School where they would frequently play. No Chuck Brown though damnit!

14. You know how or have seen someone 'beat their feet' and do the 'perculator'. "Its time for the percolator....."

15. You felt the sadness of seeing the Laurel Movie Theatre go, but more so the pizza shop next door. Hmmmm.... VILLA PIZZA, Yum. I also recall the WAXIE MAXIE's across the way - bought my tapes there and cassette singles - HA

16. Only half of your friends have actually ever been to the Laurel Race Track. I still have yet to go there. The smell of horse shit does not sit well with me.

17. Half of your friends have a homemade tattoo of some sort. Of course they do - what else did we do when we skipped school - played with needles and indian ink.

18. There is evidence that you once had 'the bangs' that took hours and a full bottle of hairspray to do. I plead the fifth - although if you are curious - I have freshman through senior year pictures with plenty of aquanet and was always told that I had Laurel Hair. Now that was back in the early 90's - I am clear of "LAURELism's" now.

19. You know how important the Main Street Festival is. Its only the biggest white trash festival in May. Gather all your Bud drinking, Marlboro smoking pals and join in.

20. You remember playing in the plastic pools and the .25 cent rides in front of K-mart. The cheesy merry-go- round and blue pools with dinosaurs in them and built in slides.

21. You've been guilty of wearing krimNL10dency, Da*Link Went, Bonidacci Bionzo, Damani Dada, & RP55 t-shirts - I have no clue what you are talking about.

22. More than half of your friends smoke, and 90 percent of them started at the Skating Rink. so it is not my mom's fault - damnit.

23. You have given money to the people at the intersection of Cherry Lane and Route 1 at least 3 times. No way - I went to school with those people.

24. You or one of your friends have bought weed from the ice cream man. OMG - all the time at Town Center Pool when I was lifeguarding there. He had the "BEST" stash.

25. You secretly wish you could pull of Reebok Classics again. Um, no.

26. You were offended by number 25 because you still do. HA - no I don't think so.

27. You have been in at least one fist fight. With men

28. You know what it means when you lunch, what it is when you gank something, what it is to kirk on someone. http://www.urbandictionary.com/ or http://www.laurel.com/ for defs.

29. Most of your white friends moms still wear acrylic nails and go to the tanning salon. I wish I could get my mom to tan. She looks like Casper.

30. The only reason you read the Laurel Leader is to see who from High School got locked up over the weekend and for what. Did it earlier today - I am guilty

31. Everytime you get pulled over, it's never one cop by themselves, it's always at least 2, if not 3 cars - because Laurel is the hood and they all just came from Dunkin Doughnuts or Ihop.

32. You couldn't believe when Laurel High School won there first game in FOREVER! HA - um they/we won games??? LOL

33. You know that Contee Road is a bad neighborhood, and that all the white kids from Montpelier rep it. I am "the kid" from Montpelier - HA HA HA

34. You have laughed, understood or been offended by any of these. - I got out while I could.

Yours truly,

~S~

Tales From The Monday Drive Down PA Ave.

Gotta Do Laundry….

Now I may be naïve to the fact of what homeless people do in their everyday lives but this morning I got the surprise of my life when I saw the good ol’ George Clinton look alike walking down Rt. 4 carrying all of his belongings and a container of laundry detergent. Now mind you, I had not had coffee yet and I think I was still half asleep but I did not realize that homeless people did laundry, let alone bought laundry detergent. That shizz is expensive. Anyhow, I will let you know if his USA outfit looks any cleaner tomorrow when I drive past him.

“Theres no right way to do wrong”

Apparently this is the message that one particular church in SE would like to give out to the hood rats in the area.

“The Truth About Hip Hop #3” March 4th at 7:30 PM

I am pissed off that I missed #2. There must be a lot of truth about hip hop for them to have three different seminars on it (can you call that a seminar?).

Ok back to work. In case anyone cares, Jackson fainted again this morning and the only thing we know so far is that he has an abnormal thyroid. Hopefully we will get the results from the heart monitor back soon so our little guy can get better.

Happy Monday Everyone!

~S~

So So Sorry......

Such a slacker I be! Damn Me. I am a poet and I didn't know it. Anyhow. I have been up to my eyeballs in personal stuff at home with my beautiful little boxer "Jack". He has been to the emergency room twice this week (at $900 + per visit her has already one up'ed me on luxury hotel stays) and has had to wear a heart monitor. Poor little guy kept fainting - and let me tell you - aside from my other boxer "Fin" that has epilepsy and sometimes has seizures fainting is scary when it happens so frequently. So Jack was a real trooper (and an actor - he is milking this for all its worth) and is resting comfortably at home now and has not fainted in three days (whew). We will know all the results of his tests soon. I will keep you posted.

This would explain my absence from the BBB. I have been driving into work because when you are in the emergency room and don't get home until after 2:00 AM you tend to be a little sleepy and especially sleepy since I am usually getting up at this time due to my inability to sleep like a normal person. I also (and blame this on ~B~ and the marathon training - kidding) got a parking pass so I am going to generally start driving to work so I am in the gym by 7:00 to run 4-5 miles 4 days a week. I will try to ride on "FREAKY" Friday so I will still have stories - but just think this could be beneficial to everyone who is interested in my goofy church sign fetish (I will have plenty for you - trust me). I have also been on drugs (AKA - myspace AKA crack). My husband is convinced I am addicted (its his fault since he told me about it and has his own "myspace"). And one last note - as I was writing this, my husband showed up on his motorcycle startling the dog that faints and getting him excited - causing him to faint again. Thanks JJ- are you trying to kill him. (JOKE). Lets all pray for Jack and hope that he gets better. ~S~

"I never told a lie"....riiiiiiiight......

Normally, the OC is very booooooooringggggggggggggggg - only YPs (young professionals), too wrapped up in their own lives, because it's soooooo cooooooool to live in Arlington. Or something....but Thursday night was the exception. After a *good* run - I was all alone in the workout center, so that's always good, but my right knee is KILLING me - I was down in Farragut W waiting for my OC to VA, when the BBB to VA went by.......with ABE LINCOLN sitting in a window seat. Yes. The black suit, the string tie, and the g-d stovepipe hat (similar to the ADORABLE pugger to your left). No lie - when have I lied to you peeps? I was going crazy - maybe it was from the knee pain, but I'm pretty sure it was because I saw a Dead President.

All in all, I'm so glad I got to have a *crazy* 'Chro experience - my little S gets to have all the fun, so it's about damn time I got some o' that action! Just wait until I move to SoMD - it's gonna be MAD POSTING, y'all!

Ok, wish me luck on my weekend - I'm meeting with my agent on Sunday to see what I hope will eventually be my house. If all goes well, I'll post a few pics of the future Casa de B...or whatevs...in case you're not my friend and haven't seen the pics...

XOXO
~B~

CrAzY LaDy!

Now I know that this city is full of crazy goofballs but this morning was the all time best ":goofball" experience I have ever had. I typically associate people that talk to themselves as dirty homeless people, although this morning on the BBB it was the complete opposite. At the Benning Road station (I believe) this normal looking black women gets on the train, makeup done, cute jeans, boots, nice jacket, hair stylin' and had a compact mirror in her hand. I think nothing of this since most people find it ok to groom themselves on the CHRO' in the morning (another topic for another day or read back when the blog first started). Next thing I know as I was engaged in reading my Metro Express (Alan the newspaper man has been missing by the way and I am worried about this) I hear this inaudible conversation happening on our unusually quiet train. Now, I have not yet mastered the “listen to other peoples conversations” trick that my husband does so I glanced over to see who was talking. Low and behold – the woman and her compact mirror were throwing down. She got angry and told the bad mirror – “Don’t make me tell them the truth” and “I will not lie”! I had to bite my tongue (good thing it’s still numb from the Novocain last week) to control my laughter. I was sad to see her depart at L’Enfant Plaza.

Crazy Lady and her Mirrored friend – I hope to run into you again, so I can find out what the truth is.

~S~

P.S. I will try not to spend so much tie on MySpace – that shizz is addictive. I have run into so many people in the cyber world that I have not talked to in forever! Maybe I will grow a set of balls and reveal my identity at some point.

WHOA……….

That’s what I said this morning as I got out of my car in the Morgan Boulevard parking lot and almost busted my ass on the half plowed/half salted parking lot.

~S~

F#*!ing Snow

I know it's super-mean to find humor in someone else's misfortune, but c'mon - this picture is hilarious!

I love how pretty it is the morning after a big snow - still stuck on the trees, making it a winter wonderland. I was driving home from S's house this morning (we had our biggest training run yesterday - 8 miles!), since it was too nasty to leave last night, and 260 and Route 4 made for a beautiful drive. It all ended when I got to the Zooland (read: Suitland) Parkway. I found out too late from WTOP that it was closed at the turn-off to get to 95, due to fallen trees at a Mean Green 'chro station. See? The Green really IS Mean! I got lost - "Of course you did!" is what S said when I told her - trying to find 95, and ended up on 295. Basically, I drove in a big circle because I'M AN IDIOT. If I hadn't found 295 and finally grasped my bearings, I prolly would've called S, in tears no doubt.

Then, as I finally made it back into Virginia (this time listening a little more closely to WTOP - ha ha), a Dominion Electric spokeswoman informed me that the power was out throughout most of northern Virginia. Given the very advanced age of my apartment building, I was prepared for the worst, and was already starting to weigh my options, since she said power in most areas wouldn't be restored until TOMORROW NIGHT. Luckily, I arrived home to a fully-powered apartment - Jebus must've taken a little pity on me after my Zooland experience.

All in all, I love the snow, because it makes it feel more like winter in a city with no definable seasons. Until it causes trees to fall, and power to go out. A little cooperation, please, Mr. Whomever-Makes-it-Snow - trust me, you don't want to be on my bad side. Yeah, I know - I'm soooo tough, threatening a make-believe person...

~B~

Disappointed

Not only did I ride the BBB this morning for the first time in what seems like forever, Alan the newspaper man was not there. I hope he is OK. He may just be sick like the rest of the people in the car that I was in. That was the longest 35 minutes of my life – stuck in the CHRO’ infirmary. The man behind me was coughing so loud I believe I blew an eardrum. The woman behind him was coughing and sniffling, and I was “trying” to hold back my coughing since I was scared to breathe for fear that I would end up getting sicker. What made the whole thing worse probably was the heat was not working. It was like Antarctica in that car. Metro has no “comfort level” for heating and cooling. It’s either hotter than hell or freezing. No wonder everyone was sick – that and not to mention the fact that the weather is not sure what it wants to do again. Have a great weekend everyone. Pray that it doesn't snow when I have to run 8 miles no matter what tomorrow.

~S~

I know it feels like this……

So I have been busy – well actually both of us have. Its hard to work full time, run everyday of the week to train for this marathon and still manage to get sleep. I am by all means, not bitching about it because this is something I want to do and it will be more than worth it in the end – I just wanted to give an explanation for my hiatus in posting. I have actually not even been riding the BBB lately because I have been driving nto work at 6:00 am to be on a treadmill and running 4 miles before work. I actually did 5 miles on Monday. That was the first time and more than likely the last. 5 Miles on a treadmill is hell. I felt like a science experiment. Anyhow, the closest I got to the BBB lately is either when I drive past a station or this past Saturday when I bought my motorcycle at Free State Cycles on Central Avenue near Morgan Blvd. Its now in my possession after they lowered it for me since I am vertically challenged. I am sure I will have more motorcycle stories for you as soon as I am able to actually spend time with it when its warmer. If you knew me you would NEVER in a million years guess that I rode a motorcycle. Kind of a fun little tidbit about me.

Ok, enough about the motorcycle and my explanation as to why I have not written. Sorry this has to be short and sweet but I need to get crackin on my marathon letters and emails that I need to send out to round up donations so I can kill myself by running the 26.2 miles. It somehow seems unfair that you have to run that far and still raise $4000 but it is well worth the cause and I know it is a decision I will not regret.

~S~

Woe is me

Ok, so my iPod and I got into a major throw-down last night. First, the Silver Bullet (that’s what I call my iPod) gave out on me while I was running last night because the battery was low. As I was walking home, I asked the Silver Bullet how it could’ve been low on battery when I’d been charging it all day at work. As usual, it just sat there silently, not saying anything in its defense. Coward!! Why do I put up with you? Why can’t you speak to me? Why must you express yourself ONLY in music??

I’m going to give you one more chance, Silver Bullet. Tonight, when I run, I hope you will make it up to me. I’ll even let you play Warren G, maybe some Franz. I’ve been good and left you alone all day. I know we all need our “alone time,” so that’s what I’ve given you. I don’t want to go back to talking to complete strangers on the ‘Chro – I need your companionship on the OC! I need your support through my marathon training - you've been like a rock to me! Please don’t let me down again – I’m not sure I can take it.

Yours,
~B~

Natalie Dee

I heart her - thats all.

This looks slightly like the "BUSH" Tyra Banks is sporting under her arms - http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/?p=769

For christs sake - she is "supposed" to be a supermodel - just because you are a retired "VS Angel" does not give you permission to sport baby squirrels under your arms.

~S~

Here we go again.

I (once again) have been slacking on my Metro riding. This morning it was traffic and the fact hat it was raining which would have put me at the Addison Road Station instead of Morgan Boulevard which I swore I would not go to again. It baffles me that that station scares me more than Naylor Road and I used to park at the Legend Nightclub over there for $3.00 a day. It was also a slight problem which the fact that there is an escaped sex offender on the loose and he was last spotted coming out of a McDonalds on Central Avenue near the station I park at according to a news report that I read yesterday. I have yet to hear of a positive but I will keep you posted on the capture.
Then to my dismay as I was trying to find a link to the above article I read on this for your reading pleasure I stumbled upon this interesting piece of news about one of my route choices home– at last resort since the armed police officers with guns drawn were spotted by me last week - http://www.nbc4.com/traffic/6624159/detail.html. It looks like me and the rest of DC will be taking PA Avenue home.
All the more reason to run after work with my “Partner In Crime” for our MARATHON TRAINING……that’s right, you heard it here first, we are both running the San Diego Rock and Roll Marathon on June 4th. We are training with TEAM IN TRAINING which is an awesome organization that helps to “raise funds to support the Society's research, education and patient programs to meet our ultimate goal: CURES for leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma”. Our goal is to raise $4,000 each which will go towards the above. We will also sponsor and run in honor of a local blood cancer survivor and also in support of loved ones and friends we know that have suffered this terrible disease.

Now that I think about it – I could leave my car here and run the marathon or “ “IRON Woman” to my house. J/K

~S~

Crazy 8's

Finally, the ‘Chro has come to its senses. The 8-car trains for the OC. Glory, glory, halleluiah!! http://www.wmata.com/about/met_news/story.cfm?ID=560 Granted, the middle 2 cars are still packed to the gills since people will ALWAYS be stupid, but at least us smarties have more options – you know us, we’re the ones who actually spread out down the platform as the Voice suggests. See, the Voice really does know what it’s talking about – why won’t you obey the Voice? (Ok, I’ll stop – I’m starting to sound like a Kool-Aid drinkin’ Nike wearer…) “’We would like Orange Line passengers to pay special attention to the system and train announcements, and to check the 'next train' signs to see when an eight-car train is arriving at their station so they can move to the far ends of the platform to access all cars,’ said Mr. Hughes.” See? Mr. Hughes respects the Voice – he’s down with OPP (yeah you know me!).

I only see one thing wrong with the new 8-car trains: it’s only a 6-month TRIAL. Yes. A TRIAL. WMATA is treating us OC riders like guinea pigs, and that’s not right, since I’d rather be treated like…um…I dunno. “Metro is able to run eight-car trains on a limited basis until power upgrades are made systemwide.” Why, why, WHY doesn’t WMATA do the upgrades first, then add the 8-car trains? They know the 8-car trains are going to help. I mean, duh, why wouldn’t they?? Now I’m afraid that I’ll be on an 8-car train one day, minding my business while getting my ass grabbed during my morning commute, and the power will suddenly go out, and I won’t even be able to turn around to see if my ass-grabber was cute. C’mon, ‘Chro, get your priorities straight – can’t you see that mine are??

Happy Tuesday, everyone – try not to get blown away by the Katrina winds out there!

~B~

Yeah…

His twin was on the BBB with me tonight. It was a combination between “SOUL GLOW” and Lionel”
~S~

Confirmed – No bus for me….

I still have yet to grace metro bus riders throughout DC with my presence and this article I found on WTOP.com confirms that I will not be doing so anytime in the near future “Metro Bus Passenger Wounded During Robbery” http://wtop.com/?nid=25&sid=680897.


In case you were wondering my secret wise sources tell me that the bus pictured to the left is either the L2 or the L4 which would be my bus route of choice (to the “doctor”) that drives down hoity toity Connecticut Avenue (I am sure I would be safe – I don’t own any Chanel or Prada – “YET” so no one would be interested in my most expensive piece of clothing being the Anne Taylor suit(s) that I own).

On one final "random" note - As I was driving home from the "doctor" mentioned above last night - to my surprise Suitland Parkway was closed between Alabama Avenue and Naylor Road - forcing me to take a detour down Minnesota Avenue to get back on Alabama and then proceed to Naylor Road and then back on Suitland Parkway. Two things were learned during this detour - It should be legal to talk to your best friend on the phone while driving through the ghettos of S.E., DC so she can hear you say "uh look, police activity, oh shit! surroundiong the car and guns are drawn", and two - I am now the master of the DC ghetto backroads in case further detours happen.


~S~

Can I make reservations for happy hour??

There’s nothing like waiting 65 minutes for a bar table at the restaurant that’s at the bottom of your building, only to be smashed into a corner because the guy at the table next to you insists on scooting his chair back as far as possible. I LOVE THE CITY! The chivalry, the consideration for others…it’s outstanding here. At least I got my expensive cheeseburger (split it with H, of course – I’m not a pig, unless we’re talking about sushi, right S and JJ??) and pinot noir.

After that waiting experience, I never expected to wait for the ‘chro at 8pm on a Wednesday at rush hour-busy station. I soon found out that there was a power outage at Eastern Market, thus causing a delay in both directions. No offense to New Carrollton/Largo peeps, but all I care about is VIENNA. Yeah. Call me selfish – won’t be the first time! So, instead of crushing the sardines further into the train as the other peeps did, I decided to wait for the next OC. Please answer me this: Why do they tell you there’s a delay, but give you no sort of time-line as to when the next train will be pulling through?? And to top it all off, the “Voice” that tells the station of the delay sounded pre-recorded. What the?? I mean, c’mon – I’m suspicious of too many things in my life to start doubting the Voice. Mr. Intercom Man, I love you – why must you betray me??

Since the next OC was 12 minutes out, I decided to board the incoming BBB – I figured I might as well have a comfortable ride to Ross, then jump on the OC for a one-stop, sardine-filled ride to C-house. However, when I de-boarded at Ross, I checked the racing board – OC to Vienna: 1 minute. W……T……..F??????????? Is my timing so f’ed up?? But, I couldn’t complain once the train pulled into Ross, because it was EMPTY. Yay!!! After a 30-minute wait, I somehow managed to have a pleasant ride home.

In closing, thank you, OC/BBB, for working together to provide me with a pleasant commute. And Mr. Intercom Man? If you clean up your act, you might get some this weekend. ;)

~B~

….Slow and Boring - HA! Try somewhat amusing.

To my surprise (well not really, since they are usually broken) as I turned the corner to walk down the escalator at Farragut West last night they was a woman caught at the bottom of the escalator. Literally caught! Her skirt had somehow become trapped in the escalator and there were three men trying to rescue her. The more I think about it I wonder what the scene was like when she initially became a piece of metro property? One will never know…..

~S~

“Christ is the Answer”

Wow – I found the answer to something and in the craziest place – in a tunnel while stopped in a train between Smithsonian and Federal Triangle. This nice little message was scrolled into the concrete inside the tunnel. Now I must spend the rest of the day pondering how on earth it got there. The explanation I came up with while staring at it for 2 minutes was that someone was trapped in the tunnel and that was their only hope. Now you all know I have a vivid imagination so I am sure I will come up with a better explanation than that after I sit here and think about it for a while.

On a totally separate note. I know HATE is a strong word and we should not use it, but do not fuck with me until I get my coffee in the morning and at least get a couple sips down. This coffee thing was just reintroduced into my life recently and I am enjoying the addiction again. Here’s a message to you STARBUCKS milk filler upper or whatever you are – GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY so I can get my Splenda packets. Take the milk containers elsewhere and fill them. GRRRRR!

Happy Tuesday everyone! (Well it is now that I have downed half of my tall drip)

~S~

For shame, B

(I don't care who ya are - that's FUNNY!)

How could I have missed it? The online MetroStore!!! I can’t believe I’m just now discovering it! Had I only come across it before Christmas…well, you can only imagine the immense amount of gratitude I would have received. Please, browse, then send me your “Wishlist.” But don’t expect the $90 totebag. I’m thinking more along the lines of the Metro Bus Bank, or the notecards featuring the Bus to Fort Totten. Or there’s always the handy-dandy gift card!!! http://www.dcmetrostore.com/ S, I’ve already ordered charm bracelets for you, H and me! We’re sooooo bracelet buddies!

Fairly uneventful ‘Chro rides last week. Decided to leave the blog in the capable hands of my S. And yes, I know the boys from Mile High blew it yesterday…believe me, I know. Because of several gentlemen (ahem – I use that term LOOSLEY) at work and JJ, I don’t think the tears will stop.

Happy MOANday everyone, and safe ‘chro travels!

~B~

"Hello Motivation Are You There?"

I would have written last night but I was in a foul mood, tired and am trying to take a break from the computer that my husband says is “a problem” Anyhow…. After I waited for 10 minutes for the BBB last night at McPherson Square (and watched two OC’s shoot on by), I was fortunate enough to have to stand and hang on for dear life until the Addison Road station (two stations before I was to get off). Lucky for me and everyone else on the train we were entertained by the 300 LB woman who literally took up a whole seat and was snoring like a freight train the whole ride, as people were standing there talking about her. Now since I have tact (sometimes), I was having conversations to myself in my head about this. I kept thinking that when the noises stopped that she was dead and kept praying for her to continue snoring (as annoying as that was). All went well and she departed with the rest of the world at Addison Road.

I took the commuter bus today and may get a chance to experience my first METRO BUS (L2 or L4 - whatever that means) experience when I go to the doctor this afternoon. I could take the train but I am thinking I may want to test this bus thing out. I will keep you posted. ~OUT~

~S~

“God is up to something good”

Must not be in Maryland though. I really wish Metro Police (can we even call them that?) would give tickets to the jackasses that double park in parking spaces at the Largo station. Yes, I am bitter. First because I got a $25 ticket a while back due to the lack of “normal, non permit holder” parking spaces that were available forcing me to park in a permit only (I was pissed and rebelling – what can I say) spot and also because it is asinine and ignorant! Oh, wait, how could I forget where I am parking. I keep having memory lapses about the arrogance of people in that part of P.G. County, because apparently they are in denial about living in a shit hole. They may drive nice cars and live in large houses but I guarantee you they do not have a damn place for anyone to sit inside that nice house – due to the absence of furniture. I could go on for days (thank you PMS – for striking at a wonderful time – at least I am not in the machete aisle at Home Depot like the last time when it was this bad) but I will stop myself before I get in trouble (new concept I am working on).

In addition, on a side note… (WTF is the deal with my horoscope today – rather appropriate – given my situation, however I am not going to take the advice – I am entitled to be bitchy one day)

Try to see the positive facets of people. Relax and do not get so worked up over your own internal drama. You are the one responsible for creating this turmoil. Find comfort in a creative project (I am the most “uncrafty and uncreative” person there is) Do something that you love to do and that makes you truly happy (shopping!). There is an expansive feeling in the air that is likely to amplify whatever mood you project (PMS!).

This picture will describe it all….

Use you imagination as to how my ride home last night went. I will say one thing – 16 year olds SHOULD NOT BEAR CHILDREN.

Out!

~S~

For the LITERATE - the following is a public service announcement compliments of (http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/print.php?article=contraception&refid=004), with a few of my own comments added in red.

About Birth Control Pills

Birth control pills are oral contraceptives that are extremely effective at preventing pregnancy. (Please take that into consideration when you become sexually active, for your sake, but mostly for mine and metro patrons throughout the DC area). They do this by either preventing ovulation, thickening the cervical mucous, or changing the endometrial lining of the uterus. There are two main types of birth control pills: combination pills and progestin-only pills.

What Do Birth Control Pills Look Like?
Birth control pills come in packages that contain one month’s supply of pills. They either come in 28-day packs or 21-day packs.
The 28-day packages come with three weeks worth of “active pills” and one week’s worth of “inactive”, or reminder, pills. The active pills are the pills that actually contain the hormones that prevent pregnancy. The only function of the inactive, or reminder pills, is to keep you on track so that you start your next pack on time.
The 21-day packages only contain active pills. When you finish the pack you must wait seven days before starting the next pack. (You can even accessorize them with rhinestones and fancy designer packs....ha)

How to Use
Birth control pills are most effective when taken at the same time every day. This can be especially important because some types of birth control pills are more time sensitive than others. (Please don't forget...please, I am begging!)

When To Start Taking The Pill?
There are two different ways to start taking the pill. You can either start taking them on the first day of your period (first-day starters), or on the first Sunday after your period starts (Sunday-starters). If you are a Sunday-starter and your period starts on a Sunday then you should take the first the pill then, not a week later. You should talk to your doctor about which method of starting the pill is best for you. (I take the pill and I am even confused by this....jesus. )

You Should Not Take The Pill If You:
· Smoke and are over the age of 35. (eh - when I smoked I took those bad boys and I turned out fine. Not condoning smoking by all means, but please don't let that be an excuse as to why you can't take them. This includes smoking in all forms - pot, crack, hash, whatever - a non-pregnant crackhead is much better than a preganant one with a crack baby on the way)
· Have unexplained vaginal bleeding.
· Have breast cancer.
· Have liver problems.
· Have high blood pressure or cholesterol levels.
· Have a history of blood clots.
· Are pregnant or suspect that you are pregnant. (the pill is not a form of abortion.....idiots)

Cost
The cost of birth control pills vary from about $20-$35 dollars a month depending on who you get them from and whether the pills are generic or nongeneric. This price does not include the cost of the doctor’s examination needed to get a prescription for birth control pills. If you are concerned about the price, you can try going to clinics, such as Planned Parenthood, because they often provide their services at lower prices. ( or no cost....)

What If I Throw Up After Taking The Pill?
If you throw up less than two hours after taking a pill you should take another one. DO NOT take a pill from the same pack! Instead, always keep an extra package of pills on hand and take the pills from this package. (try not to vomit- I do not think Planned Parenthood will provide you with the "EXTRA PACK" mentioned above....if you are bulimic...you should seek an alternative and STOP BINGE EATING!)
If you throw up for an entire day or more try to stay on track wih taking the pill and use a backup method of birth control during the time that you are sick until a week after you get better. (Call the TROJAN MAN....he will help you out)

What If I Want To Get Pregnant?
You can become pregnant immediately after you stop taking the pill, even though your cycles may not be regular for a few months. Despite the fact that it is safe to get pregnant right away, it may be a good a idea to wait until your cycles are regular because it makes it easier for your physician to estimate the due date of your baby (Also - please wait until you can (a) afford to have a child and (b) are old enough to care for one on your own)

Dust In The Wind

Due to the foundation-shaking wind, I decided not to go to The Mall today. Instead, I watched Peyton humiliate himself – UGH, that was heartbreaking to watch. Thank GOD the Mountain Man had a stellar game last night – Go Broncos, beat Ben Rothelisjhosighs (or whatever the F his name is) next weekend and take it to Detroit!

Speaking of dust in the wind, I read an article today in the Post about our good friend Mr. White and his severance package (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/01/14/AR2006011400952.html). Six figures to start, then an additional 6 figures EVERY YEAR? And all this because 9 years ago, he was in high demand, and wouldn’t agree to anything less. This is just too ridiculous to comment on – I’ll let you all make your own call on this, and hopefully, you’re all saying “WTF??” You know what this means, right? Trip fare is going to go up so WE can pay for this. Ugh ugh UGH. I think my favorite part of the article was where the reporter was listing a few of the “embarrassing incidents” on the ‘Chro that led to Mr. White’s “resignation”: “mismanagement of its service for the disabled, a subway crash and the arrest of a pregnant woman for talking too loudly on her cell phone.” Now, the first two seem to be legitimate reasons; however, I’m a little stumped as to how the third incident qualified. Granted, arresting the woman was WAY over the top, but still – pregnancy does not give you the right to act obnoxious and totally disregard showing any respect to your fellow riders. I actually had the balls once to say to a man, after he got off a very loud phone conversation regarding where to meet someone, “You should’ve insisted on the first place you suggested – the place you’re going now is TOTALLY overrated.” HA – nah, I didn’t really say that, but that’s how it went in my head…and furthermore, the crash wasn’t Mr. White’s fault – it was the conductor’s responsibility. I guess that goes with our tendency to blame the person in the highest position of power versus the person who’s actually at fault. Whatevs – in the end, I think it’s ridiculous that he’s getting such a ridiculously large amount of money.

Speaking again of supposed dust in the wind, I’m super-excited for the season premiere of 24 tonight – looks like Jack Is Back!!! Yay!! I heart that alcoholic actor!!

Peace out,
~B~

Shout out to my C-Dawg….(the marathon trainer, lumber hustler, or whatever the hell else you decide to be....)

My (our) loyal reader everyday (so I hear)…..Chris the Greek Rocks the hizzouse! As I sit here waitching the Redskins Game with John I keep thinking that at any minute you will call and pull him together. He has been giddy for a week….control him C-Dawg! We’ll see – Hopefully the “Skins” will pull through – or we will all be taking care of JJ tomorrow and until the next season.
~S~