Back to the roots.....

Now I would not normally boast or brag about where I grew up but my brother posted this as a bulletin on myspace today and I feel that I have to add my two cents so you will understand and get to know me better. Here goes - my comments are in purple.

1. You spent every Friday and Saturday night of your youth at the skating rink, and that's normal. Hell yeah this was normal. What was even more normal was fighting with your parents about going two nights in a row and giving you money for it and who the next boy you were going to "slow skate" with. I was a damn good roller skater by the way with my white skates with hot pink wheels.

2. Your parents call Weis "We is" - Yeah but they still shop at Giant or Safeway

3. You actually know what a Little Tavern and a Tastee Freez are - Hmm -Tastee Freeze - only the best chocolate shakes in the world and also the largest rats running from the dumpster.

4. You remember going to Laurel Mall when they still had stores, and ROY ROGERS! I also remember when it had a Gap, Merry Go Round (IOU BABY) County Seat and Express (shhh...don't tell anyone I used to manage that Express)

5. You consider Columbia to be "Snobby, Rich or Bouje" and successively to be "Country". Now I consider Columbia to be a little ghetto. (Worked in that Express also - shhh...)

6. You drive past the HUGE Christmas Tree on Montgomery Street every year. I also recall when some un-named friends were arsonists and tried to burn that sucker down.

7. The Bus, is only referred to as Connect-A-Ride...otherwise you mean Metro, and those 2 aren't good to mix up My only source of transportation after I got in trouble several times and lost privledges to my brand new car.

8. A goose or a duck has violently tried to attack you at one point or another at Laurel Lakes. I made out at Laurel Lakes - never went there when it was light. So I cannot recall this.

9. Half of your friends claim D.C. and the other half claim Baltimore. Claim DC - so much better than B'More HON!

10. You knew growing up what a 'Whiskey Bottom' girl meant. No, not a girl that could shoot WHISKEY our of her ass - this is just where she grew up. Her hood was call Whiskey Bottom

11. People don't throw out 'Crips' and 'Bloods', they throw out 'El Palo'. Hmm...maybe I am too old for this one - or got out before the gangs started???

12. You have debated whether or not DC GoGo or Baltimore Club is better. Safer for the white kids to hit up a club in B'More....Always went to HOME THROWN GO GO's in HS. Or to School where they would frequently play. No Chuck Brown though damnit!

14. You know how or have seen someone 'beat their feet' and do the 'perculator'. "Its time for the percolator....."

15. You felt the sadness of seeing the Laurel Movie Theatre go, but more so the pizza shop next door. Hmmmm.... VILLA PIZZA, Yum. I also recall the WAXIE MAXIE's across the way - bought my tapes there and cassette singles - HA

16. Only half of your friends have actually ever been to the Laurel Race Track. I still have yet to go there. The smell of horse shit does not sit well with me.

17. Half of your friends have a homemade tattoo of some sort. Of course they do - what else did we do when we skipped school - played with needles and indian ink.

18. There is evidence that you once had 'the bangs' that took hours and a full bottle of hairspray to do. I plead the fifth - although if you are curious - I have freshman through senior year pictures with plenty of aquanet and was always told that I had Laurel Hair. Now that was back in the early 90's - I am clear of "LAURELism's" now.

19. You know how important the Main Street Festival is. Its only the biggest white trash festival in May. Gather all your Bud drinking, Marlboro smoking pals and join in.

20. You remember playing in the plastic pools and the .25 cent rides in front of K-mart. The cheesy merry-go- round and blue pools with dinosaurs in them and built in slides.

21. You've been guilty of wearing krimNL10dency, Da*Link Went, Bonidacci Bionzo, Damani Dada, & RP55 t-shirts - I have no clue what you are talking about.

22. More than half of your friends smoke, and 90 percent of them started at the Skating Rink. so it is not my mom's fault - damnit.

23. You have given money to the people at the intersection of Cherry Lane and Route 1 at least 3 times. No way - I went to school with those people.

24. You or one of your friends have bought weed from the ice cream man. OMG - all the time at Town Center Pool when I was lifeguarding there. He had the "BEST" stash.

25. You secretly wish you could pull of Reebok Classics again. Um, no.

26. You were offended by number 25 because you still do. HA - no I don't think so.

27. You have been in at least one fist fight. With men

28. You know what it means when you lunch, what it is when you gank something, what it is to kirk on someone. http://www.urbandictionary.com/ or http://www.laurel.com/ for defs.

29. Most of your white friends moms still wear acrylic nails and go to the tanning salon. I wish I could get my mom to tan. She looks like Casper.

30. The only reason you read the Laurel Leader is to see who from High School got locked up over the weekend and for what. Did it earlier today - I am guilty

31. Everytime you get pulled over, it's never one cop by themselves, it's always at least 2, if not 3 cars - because Laurel is the hood and they all just came from Dunkin Doughnuts or Ihop.

32. You couldn't believe when Laurel High School won there first game in FOREVER! HA - um they/we won games??? LOL

33. You know that Contee Road is a bad neighborhood, and that all the white kids from Montpelier rep it. I am "the kid" from Montpelier - HA HA HA

34. You have laughed, understood or been offended by any of these. - I got out while I could.

Yours truly,

~S~

Tales From The Monday Drive Down PA Ave.

Gotta Do Laundry….

Now I may be naïve to the fact of what homeless people do in their everyday lives but this morning I got the surprise of my life when I saw the good ol’ George Clinton look alike walking down Rt. 4 carrying all of his belongings and a container of laundry detergent. Now mind you, I had not had coffee yet and I think I was still half asleep but I did not realize that homeless people did laundry, let alone bought laundry detergent. That shizz is expensive. Anyhow, I will let you know if his USA outfit looks any cleaner tomorrow when I drive past him.

“Theres no right way to do wrong”

Apparently this is the message that one particular church in SE would like to give out to the hood rats in the area.

“The Truth About Hip Hop #3” March 4th at 7:30 PM

I am pissed off that I missed #2. There must be a lot of truth about hip hop for them to have three different seminars on it (can you call that a seminar?).

Ok back to work. In case anyone cares, Jackson fainted again this morning and the only thing we know so far is that he has an abnormal thyroid. Hopefully we will get the results from the heart monitor back soon so our little guy can get better.

Happy Monday Everyone!

~S~

So So Sorry......

Such a slacker I be! Damn Me. I am a poet and I didn't know it. Anyhow. I have been up to my eyeballs in personal stuff at home with my beautiful little boxer "Jack". He has been to the emergency room twice this week (at $900 + per visit her has already one up'ed me on luxury hotel stays) and has had to wear a heart monitor. Poor little guy kept fainting - and let me tell you - aside from my other boxer "Fin" that has epilepsy and sometimes has seizures fainting is scary when it happens so frequently. So Jack was a real trooper (and an actor - he is milking this for all its worth) and is resting comfortably at home now and has not fainted in three days (whew). We will know all the results of his tests soon. I will keep you posted.

This would explain my absence from the BBB. I have been driving into work because when you are in the emergency room and don't get home until after 2:00 AM you tend to be a little sleepy and especially sleepy since I am usually getting up at this time due to my inability to sleep like a normal person. I also (and blame this on ~B~ and the marathon training - kidding) got a parking pass so I am going to generally start driving to work so I am in the gym by 7:00 to run 4-5 miles 4 days a week. I will try to ride on "FREAKY" Friday so I will still have stories - but just think this could be beneficial to everyone who is interested in my goofy church sign fetish (I will have plenty for you - trust me). I have also been on drugs (AKA - myspace AKA crack). My husband is convinced I am addicted (its his fault since he told me about it and has his own "myspace"). And one last note - as I was writing this, my husband showed up on his motorcycle startling the dog that faints and getting him excited - causing him to faint again. Thanks JJ- are you trying to kill him. (JOKE). Lets all pray for Jack and hope that he gets better. ~S~

"I never told a lie"....riiiiiiiight......

Normally, the OC is very booooooooringggggggggggggggg - only YPs (young professionals), too wrapped up in their own lives, because it's soooooo cooooooool to live in Arlington. Or something....but Thursday night was the exception. After a *good* run - I was all alone in the workout center, so that's always good, but my right knee is KILLING me - I was down in Farragut W waiting for my OC to VA, when the BBB to VA went by.......with ABE LINCOLN sitting in a window seat. Yes. The black suit, the string tie, and the g-d stovepipe hat (similar to the ADORABLE pugger to your left). No lie - when have I lied to you peeps? I was going crazy - maybe it was from the knee pain, but I'm pretty sure it was because I saw a Dead President.

All in all, I'm so glad I got to have a *crazy* 'Chro experience - my little S gets to have all the fun, so it's about damn time I got some o' that action! Just wait until I move to SoMD - it's gonna be MAD POSTING, y'all!

Ok, wish me luck on my weekend - I'm meeting with my agent on Sunday to see what I hope will eventually be my house. If all goes well, I'll post a few pics of the future Casa de B...or whatevs...in case you're not my friend and haven't seen the pics...

XOXO
~B~

CrAzY LaDy!

Now I know that this city is full of crazy goofballs but this morning was the all time best ":goofball" experience I have ever had. I typically associate people that talk to themselves as dirty homeless people, although this morning on the BBB it was the complete opposite. At the Benning Road station (I believe) this normal looking black women gets on the train, makeup done, cute jeans, boots, nice jacket, hair stylin' and had a compact mirror in her hand. I think nothing of this since most people find it ok to groom themselves on the CHRO' in the morning (another topic for another day or read back when the blog first started). Next thing I know as I was engaged in reading my Metro Express (Alan the newspaper man has been missing by the way and I am worried about this) I hear this inaudible conversation happening on our unusually quiet train. Now, I have not yet mastered the “listen to other peoples conversations” trick that my husband does so I glanced over to see who was talking. Low and behold – the woman and her compact mirror were throwing down. She got angry and told the bad mirror – “Don’t make me tell them the truth” and “I will not lie”! I had to bite my tongue (good thing it’s still numb from the Novocain last week) to control my laughter. I was sad to see her depart at L’Enfant Plaza.

Crazy Lady and her Mirrored friend – I hope to run into you again, so I can find out what the truth is.

~S~

P.S. I will try not to spend so much tie on MySpace – that shizz is addictive. I have run into so many people in the cyber world that I have not talked to in forever! Maybe I will grow a set of balls and reveal my identity at some point.

WHOA……….

That’s what I said this morning as I got out of my car in the Morgan Boulevard parking lot and almost busted my ass on the half plowed/half salted parking lot.

~S~

F#*!ing Snow

I know it's super-mean to find humor in someone else's misfortune, but c'mon - this picture is hilarious!

I love how pretty it is the morning after a big snow - still stuck on the trees, making it a winter wonderland. I was driving home from S's house this morning (we had our biggest training run yesterday - 8 miles!), since it was too nasty to leave last night, and 260 and Route 4 made for a beautiful drive. It all ended when I got to the Zooland (read: Suitland) Parkway. I found out too late from WTOP that it was closed at the turn-off to get to 95, due to fallen trees at a Mean Green 'chro station. See? The Green really IS Mean! I got lost - "Of course you did!" is what S said when I told her - trying to find 95, and ended up on 295. Basically, I drove in a big circle because I'M AN IDIOT. If I hadn't found 295 and finally grasped my bearings, I prolly would've called S, in tears no doubt.

Then, as I finally made it back into Virginia (this time listening a little more closely to WTOP - ha ha), a Dominion Electric spokeswoman informed me that the power was out throughout most of northern Virginia. Given the very advanced age of my apartment building, I was prepared for the worst, and was already starting to weigh my options, since she said power in most areas wouldn't be restored until TOMORROW NIGHT. Luckily, I arrived home to a fully-powered apartment - Jebus must've taken a little pity on me after my Zooland experience.

All in all, I love the snow, because it makes it feel more like winter in a city with no definable seasons. Until it causes trees to fall, and power to go out. A little cooperation, please, Mr. Whomever-Makes-it-Snow - trust me, you don't want to be on my bad side. Yeah, I know - I'm soooo tough, threatening a make-believe person...

~B~

Disappointed

Not only did I ride the BBB this morning for the first time in what seems like forever, Alan the newspaper man was not there. I hope he is OK. He may just be sick like the rest of the people in the car that I was in. That was the longest 35 minutes of my life – stuck in the CHRO’ infirmary. The man behind me was coughing so loud I believe I blew an eardrum. The woman behind him was coughing and sniffling, and I was “trying” to hold back my coughing since I was scared to breathe for fear that I would end up getting sicker. What made the whole thing worse probably was the heat was not working. It was like Antarctica in that car. Metro has no “comfort level” for heating and cooling. It’s either hotter than hell or freezing. No wonder everyone was sick – that and not to mention the fact that the weather is not sure what it wants to do again. Have a great weekend everyone. Pray that it doesn't snow when I have to run 8 miles no matter what tomorrow.

~S~

I know it feels like this……

So I have been busy – well actually both of us have. Its hard to work full time, run everyday of the week to train for this marathon and still manage to get sleep. I am by all means, not bitching about it because this is something I want to do and it will be more than worth it in the end – I just wanted to give an explanation for my hiatus in posting. I have actually not even been riding the BBB lately because I have been driving nto work at 6:00 am to be on a treadmill and running 4 miles before work. I actually did 5 miles on Monday. That was the first time and more than likely the last. 5 Miles on a treadmill is hell. I felt like a science experiment. Anyhow, the closest I got to the BBB lately is either when I drive past a station or this past Saturday when I bought my motorcycle at Free State Cycles on Central Avenue near Morgan Blvd. Its now in my possession after they lowered it for me since I am vertically challenged. I am sure I will have more motorcycle stories for you as soon as I am able to actually spend time with it when its warmer. If you knew me you would NEVER in a million years guess that I rode a motorcycle. Kind of a fun little tidbit about me.

Ok, enough about the motorcycle and my explanation as to why I have not written. Sorry this has to be short and sweet but I need to get crackin on my marathon letters and emails that I need to send out to round up donations so I can kill myself by running the 26.2 miles. It somehow seems unfair that you have to run that far and still raise $4000 but it is well worth the cause and I know it is a decision I will not regret.

~S~

Woe is me

Ok, so my iPod and I got into a major throw-down last night. First, the Silver Bullet (that’s what I call my iPod) gave out on me while I was running last night because the battery was low. As I was walking home, I asked the Silver Bullet how it could’ve been low on battery when I’d been charging it all day at work. As usual, it just sat there silently, not saying anything in its defense. Coward!! Why do I put up with you? Why can’t you speak to me? Why must you express yourself ONLY in music??

I’m going to give you one more chance, Silver Bullet. Tonight, when I run, I hope you will make it up to me. I’ll even let you play Warren G, maybe some Franz. I’ve been good and left you alone all day. I know we all need our “alone time,” so that’s what I’ve given you. I don’t want to go back to talking to complete strangers on the ‘Chro – I need your companionship on the OC! I need your support through my marathon training - you've been like a rock to me! Please don’t let me down again – I’m not sure I can take it.

Yours,
~B~

Natalie Dee

I heart her - thats all.

This looks slightly like the "BUSH" Tyra Banks is sporting under her arms - http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/?p=769

For christs sake - she is "supposed" to be a supermodel - just because you are a retired "VS Angel" does not give you permission to sport baby squirrels under your arms.

~S~